Saturday, December 31, 2005

Its When Now?

I seem to have fallen into that cloudy, confusing space where the day? It's a surprise. It's amazing how regular events seem to be the only way I can keep track of the day in my head. Being on holiday from work takes one of those repeated events off my schedule, and the holidays takes another - expected television shows - away as well, and rejigging my gym schedule around holiday days messes me up even more. I know it's Saturday, but for the past two days, I've been pretty much convinced that it was Sunday.

That's right, Sunday. Two days in a row. And tomorrow? The real Sunday? I have a feeling that's going to feel like a Monday, kids.

But I digress. I post today to take part in a chain. Too much has gone on this year to create a recap that will do it justice, but Amy Corrinne posted an interesting method of encapsulating the year.

Instructions: take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review.

August: Oh, monkey, how I love you.
September: In a cage match, who would win?
October: I am blind.
November: I really, really do.
December: I made use of my ice cream maker today.

Let's see...monkeys, violence, ailments, vociferious belief and ice cream. That does pretty much sum it up.

Happy New Years, kids.

Monday, December 26, 2005

The Peanut Butter Solution

Ever see a wee Canadian film production called The Peanut Butter Solution? I did, when I was young, and it freaked my shit out, making me avoid eating peanut butter for fear of what it would do to my hair. And if you haven't seen it, what I just wrote makes absolutely no sense.

But that's okay, because this should: I made hot damn hand made peanut butter today, and it rules. Grinda-grinda with the peanuts in the food processor, grinda-grinda with the cinnamon sticks to add a little flavour, since I'm not down with salted, sweetened PB, but like a little variety on my taste buds, if you know what I mean.

It's funny, the more I learn how to do things, and make things from scratch, the less I want to rely on manufacturers to make these things for me. Peanut butter? Check. Ice cream? Check. Soap? Check. Just wait for the things that I'm gonna whip out with my new stainless steel mandolin! Okay, there will only be slice vegetables with that sucker, but I'm so excited about it, I had to say SOMETHING.


So it's been a few days. I'm pretty boring when left to my own devices. On vacation in my own house. Watching movies. Reading books. Making stuff. That's how it goes.

I did, however, have a really nice holiday weekend. Spent with my immediate family, it was really nice. I made them eat ice cream, and they let me become a bit of a hermit mid-day.

It's an endearing personality trait (at least, that's what I tell myself), my need to spend time alone. My mom tells stories about finding me, day after day, leaving my friends to play by myself in my bedroom closet - the only place where I could go to spend some time with myself.

Sometimes loners are made. But me? I was born with a need for a lot of personal, emotional and mental space. Sometimes I still wish I knew why, but most days, I just deal with it, and am thankful that the people in my life know that when I disappear for a half hour in the middle of a day spent with the family, its just because I need to be alone inside my head.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Fist Shaking. It is, This Week, Aimed at my TV.

And, through my TV, to the networks. And their programming executives.

The holidays are not a time for reruns! But yet, there they are. Which, in turn, causes me to turn to Deal or No Deal. And Howie Mandel. Which, in turn, causes me to turn the TV off.

But what of all the movies I had vowed to watch? Yeah, that. Okay, so I watched a few of the gems that I had recorded, but also? Continuing on with my need to vegetate, borrowed a number of horrid Hollywood DVDs from my parents and have pretty much watched them instead.

Capsule reviews:

The Machinist - Excellent. And gross. I had to pause the movie in the middle so that I could run to my kitchen to get something to eat. Apparently, I believed that if I ate something, it would put some meat on Christian Bale's bones. And when I say bones, I mean it.

OT: Our Town - Nice effort, nice sentiment, nice sections, but all around a pretty boring documentary.

Alexander - Run away. Run far, far away. There's nothing that says Greek like a drunkard with a Scottish accent. What?

Boogeyman - Not scary. Sigh. Plus, stars the guy from Seventh Heaven. Which is both hilarious, and sad. And now I remember the last movie I saw him in, Teaching Ms Tingle, and then I think about his co-star in that film, Katie Holmes, and then I decide that Watson and Cruise would be a much better celebrity couple. So, in short, watching "Boogeyman" wasn't a complete loss.

Monster In-Law - Jennifer Lopez shows that she's been taking acting classes. Jane Fonda brings the funny. Michael Vartan brings the cute. And still? I wish this had been an episode of a sitcom canceled after it's first airing.

Hide and Seek - Deniro and Fanning. Fanning and Deniro. What? Exactly.

The Pacifier - I don't even know what I was thinking. Please don't ask.

Fever Pitch - I wanted to like this one SO MUCH. I love Nick Hornby's books. I think Drew Barrymore is adorable. I would like SNL-era Jimmy Fallon to be my boyfriend. But these two? Really, really wooden. I postulate that when a wooden actor plays opposite another wooden actor, the result is a grove of oak trees.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Thank the Internets

Why? Because they provide. They provide the funny, mister.

Years ago, I swore off Saturday Night Live. And, as such, I missed Chris Parnell and Andy Samburg rapping not only about the Chronicles of Narnia, but about a conversation that I know I've had with at least one of you before - Yahoo Maps vs Map Quest vs Google Maps. Thankfully, a friend provided this link to the YouTube site.

Watch it now. Snort. And be reminded of 3rd Bass.

The Chronic-What-Cles of Narnia

In other news, I feel like I need to make a confession. My current special favourite song is "Where Soul Meets Body" (Windows Media Player) by Death Cab for Cutie. I feel like saying that I like Death Cab is like all of those kids who got into The Flaming Lips after they appeared on 90210. The OC? I shake my fist at you!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

So Good! (Falls Down)

The Raspberry Cheesecake Ice Cream I made this morning. Holy. And also, Crap. Seriously, kids, I really do think the ice cream maker was one of the best things that I have bought this year. And now I think that you all need one.


Today, out of the blue, I was reminded of a TV show that I haven't thought of in years. A show that may have, in part, been a reason behind the 8 months that I spent in Australia a bargazillion years ago.

Oh, Home and Away, how hilarious you are. Of all of the bad Australian soap operas I watched as a teenager, you were, by far, the worst. And, in turn, also the best. Because you were the worst. Oh, my.

"You couldn't read instructions if they were written a mile high in whiskey bottles, and that's saying something! "

Indeed it is, Alf. Indeed, it is.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

I Make Lists

Because its soothing. My current favourite list that I have going right now is the one that details all the excellent food experiements I'll be trying out while on vacation. Wanna hear it? Here it goes:

. Homemade peanut butter. You heard me! And don't you ever dare say you're surprised that I'm trying this one out. Oh, peanut butter, you are a lovely, lovely spoonful, and I am dedicated to mastering you! I know, I've tried before, but that wasn't really MAKING peanut butter, just adding flavours. Anyway, I picked up a massive nutty amount of peanuts today - although I must say I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't find raw, and had to go with dry roasted and unsalted instead. Because when I say scratch, I really, really mean it. However, no roasting of the nuts in my oven this time around, but definately with the grinda-grinda and the crazy flavours. I'm going to try a cinnamon. And a cinnamon dark chocolate blend. Ohhhh, man. I said, OOOHHHHH MANNN.

. Frozen deserts! I've made it my responsibility to bring the desert to the family Christmas dinner tonight. And, dammit, am I going to deliver. In addition to the Chocolate Cinnamon Cayenne Ice Cream that I've made previously, I'm also going to bring a Raspberry Sorbet, a Blueberry Frozen Yogurt, and, because my brother might be a little upset with the lack of cheesecake, a freaking Raspberry Cheesecake Ice Cream. The Cheesecake sucker will be attempted on Saturady, and if it passes inspection, I will be very, very please, and will possibly make it the centerpiece of the evening.

Its Gotta be Time for Another Injury Post

Not that I've up and hurt myself again, nono, but this post is dedicated to a past injury. A past injury that was misdiagnosed.

Remember three weeks ago when I crushed my finger at the gym? The doctor that looked at my x-rays that morning told me that I hadn't fractured the bone, and that I had a mere soft tissue injury.

That doctor, apparently, knows not how to read x-rays.

I went to my GP this morning because I've become quite concerned over the fact that my finger is still sauage-swollen, that I can't grip completely with it, and that it still hurts. She had the radiologist report. The radiologist report that stated, quite clearly, that the bone had been fractured.

Meanwhile, because it hadn't healed, I'd been envisioning a horrible future filled with microsurgery and tendon and / or ligament problems plaguing me for life.

So, emergency room doctor, I shake my fist, my fist with broken finger, at you. In anger!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Helllloooooo Vacation!

It's so nice to see you again! I was beginning to think that maybe you were ignoring me, but, just when I need you most, there you are.

I think I love you a little.

Even if my first really holiday day will see me at the doctors to make sure I don't have to have my finger amputated.

The one thing that I'm not too happy about is that I had to leave work without saying goodbye, in person, to a couple of coworkers who have been out of the office since Monday. Sigh.

But vacation! You are here, and we will get along famously.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

This is not a Post about Movie Shame

And how I ask my DVR to record movies for me that I intend on watching "later", when, really, "later" sees me watching utter crap like Surviving Christmas.

Nope, this is a post about how clever I am to create a wee library of films to watch while on vacation. That's right kids, my vacation starts on Dec 15, and goes all the way on to Jan 3.

Thats some long holiday, it is.

Anyway, films on tap:

The Sea Inside
OT: Our Town
The Passion of the Christ
Bright Young Things
Bad Education
Hotel Rwanda
The Machinist

That should take me through a couple of days, I reckon.

PS: The IMDB Search Engine extension for Firefox? Brilliant.

Friday, December 09, 2005

An Open Letter to Rick Springfield

Dear, dear Rick ~

I don't know if you realize how much it pains me to write this. It pains me like a 45lbs plate weight dropped on the ring finger of my left hand, that's how much it hurts. And why? Why am I so distressed? Because watching your guest appearance on General Hospital has forced me to come to a horrible, horrible conclusion: as an actor, you stink.

Please, just stop.

Thank you, and good night.

Monday, December 05, 2005

My Skin is Trying to Desert Me!

Why? Because I brought it to Calgary in the winter. In fact, it's trying to detach itself from my body and take the next flight back to Ontario.

So lets talk about the horrid winter experiences that I've had in this city. I'm in that kind of mood. Calgary, usually I love you, but you try me dearly at the end of the year.

One past winter visit, in particular, spotlights just why you and I will always have a contentuous relationship when it comes to the cold. My hotel was located just a few short blocks from my company’s office tower, and even though the cold was enough to make my monkey crazy, the thought of taking a cab offended me to no end. I was tough! I was a woman of steel, and may have just had the Underoos to prove it! I had boots with a heavy tread! And mitts! And a hat! Goddamn it, I was prepared for the cold.

Right. For the cold. Not for the thieving air that stole every bit of moisture out of my body.

Though I was only there for three days, when I returned home, I came across a horrifying souvenir of my travels – a dry circle of skin around both ankles, at the exact location where my boot (and always falling down in a pool around my ankles socks) ended. The freaking air! I swear it stole up my pant leg like a thief in the night (day) and left its mark. Took weeks for the marks to fade. Weeks, I say.

Another Calgary business trip saw me, replete with inflatable cast Robot Foot (much to my chagrin, having a Robot Foot did not, it seem, help to improve my break dancing) encasing my right leg, from foot to knee, strolling to and from hotel to office again. Broken foot! Snow on ground! Taxi? Hell no. Confession: I am insufferably cheap. Even when the company is footing (Robot Footing) the bill. And also, 6 blocks. At the most. Seriously, folks, isn’t the fact that I work for an Oil and Gas company enough of a smack to the Environment’s face? I feel like it’s my duty to take action against the pollution in my non-work life whenever I can. But I digress.

Anyway, it was March, and I had assumed that Calgary was a sane town, and would’ve quit it with the snow. And it had, at least when I had landed on a Sunday night. The Monday morning was another story. I emerged (hobbled) out of the front enterance of the hotel into a steadily falling snowfall, and at least 3 centimeters of the stuff already on the ground. By the time I got to the office, snow had infiltrated my Robot Foot through the toe opening, and the first half of my sock was soaked through. But that was okay, ‘cause my toes? So cold they weren’t feeling a thing.

But lets face it – anything the Calgary can throw at me will always pale in comparison to February in Winnipeg. Even wearing four layers of winter clothing did nothing to combat the elements. Attempting to breathe the air made my lungs freeze and seize up, and my skeleton may have tried to run away, with plans to hitchhike back to Ontario. At least in Calgary, it's just my skin that's attempting to make a great escape.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

So Excited I was About the Pudding Pop Ice Cream

I forgot to mention this: Susur Lee (or, as he's known in my world, "Oh, Susur") has been scheduled to appear on Iron Chef America in 2006!

That is all.

Soft Serve is for Suckers!

I made use of my ice cream maker today. Or, perhaps I should call it an "ice cream" maker in reference to today's project, but, don't fault me, I wanted to start with something easy and inexpensive to get a feel for how the machine worked. And, let's face it, what I made? EXCELLENT. And nostalgic.

Earlier this year, I found out that Jell-O Pudding Pops had been reintroduced into the US market, and I swear to God, my whole body started to shake with excitement at the possibility that they'd make their way into Canada. So much so that I might have contacted Unilever Canada to ask about it? When they told me that it would be a cold day in Hell (a cold day in Hell WITHOUT PUDDING POPS) before they'd sell them up here, I may have spiraled into an ice-y snack-based depression.

Imagine my delight when I spied a recipe in my machine's accompanying instruction book for fudgesicle ice cream. Looking at the ingredients (2 packs of instant pudding and 3 cups of milk - see what I mean by "ice cream"?), I realized that, Goddamn, PUDDING POPS.

Of course, not being able to leave well enough alone, I added a tablespoon of cinnamon to the Jell-O Chocolate Fudge instant pudding powder ("chocolate" is always better when it's followed by "fudge" - they're best friends, you see), and when it was all finished up in the machine, I stirred in a cup of diced fresh strawberries.

And I can't tell you how it tastes because it's the consistency of soft serve! And soft serve is for suckers!

Really, though, it's getting a bit more of its freeze on right now.

And really? I do hate soft serve. With a passion. Always have. In fact, a friend got me all kinds of excited about an ice cream stand near her new home that my disappointment was almost palpable when we finally went and I realized that the place only served soft serve.

So, yeah. Pudding Pop excellence will be consumed this weekend. And real ice cream, REAL ice cream, REAL chocolate cinnamon cayenne ice cream, will be made next week.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

More with the campaigning

Scott Feschuk, Paul Martin's chief speechwriter, has taken to blogging from his Blackberry while hitting all the campaign stuffs. And he is cracking my ass up. Why can't his speeches incorporate references to Erik Estrada? I think that would be a winning direction to take. I really do.

The Election Campaign Begins!

And I have a feeling this federal campaign period is going to be the most horrid, and yet the most hilarious, EVER.

First with the funny: The Liberals now have an ASTRONAUT running for them in Vaudreuil-Soulanges, PQ. How can that not be awesome? I wish to see debates where he addresses the merits of Tang.

Now with the horrid: Harper is already vowing to reverse the same-sex marriage law. I don't even know what to say about that.

One day, remind me to tell you about the time I went to a party at Bill Graham's house. Where he wore a smoking jacket. And George Smitherman got drunk and jokingly dry humped one of my friends. Okay, that's pretty much the story. The end.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Bastards. The Lot of You.

That's right, BASTARDS. You didn't come through, resulting in me buying an ice cream machine this afternoon.

But still, cute! It's the IMac of ice cream makers! I am hopeful that it might be part robot too. Because a robot that makes ice cream? Legend.

Monday, November 28, 2005

WARNING: It's a Craft Post. But also, Water Buffalo Yogurt is Mentioned

Right. Hi. I make stuff?

Now that we have that out of the way, today, I give to you my first attempt at creating clay switchplate covers.

I know, I know. But I have fun, so shut it.

Without flash, followed by with:

My search for excellent switchplate covers started when I forgot to return to the "Home" section of Anthropolgie when I was visiting Chicago in the summer.

The suckers above were made with a clay that you can bake in the oven to hardness. I rolled out the clay, and used a cover as a template. I then got me some rubber stamps, and pressed them into the clay. Then, bakebakebake. When they came out of the oven, I painted them all over with acrylic paint, and used stamp pad pigment over that.

I'm pleased with how they turned out, but must confess that I left a little too much clay in the centre bar part, and they don't freaking fit over my plugs. Thankfully, though rigid, they're still pliable enough to take an X-acto knife to, so I'll be able to make them fit.

Did I ever tell you that the two adults who I bought my place from left Holly Hobby switchplate covers on a number of the switches when they handed it over to me? And that they didn't actually have any children? Well, I just did now.


So a friend in Chicago has discovered the wonder that is Water Buffalo Milk Yogurt. And I've been longing for it ever since.

Guess what? It's not available any where near me. I know this because, as a Private Investigator, I looked into the matter. I paid visits to my local grocery stores, looking in both the Organic and Full of Chemicals dairy sections. Additionally, Star Hill Dairy's website doesn't list any Canadian retailers. Furthermore, I saw that they listed Whole Foods as a US retailer, so I emailed my closest location and asked the Food Concierge (Food Concierge! Holy crap!) if they carried the lovely, playing hard to get yogurt. They, unfortunately, do not.

Being a Rocket Scientist, I am well aware that dairy gets angry if it is kept out of it's natural refridgerated environment for too long, so shipping is pretty much out of the question. And don't give me any of that dry ice reasoning. I refuse to hear it.

I reckon I'm just going to have to go back to Chicago to visit. There's no other solution.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Just a Hollaback Girl

My left hand pinky, that is. It really just refuses to think for itself, and mindlessly follows the lead of my ring finger. Which means that when I hold something in my left hand these days, it cocks out like I was some kind of lady who lunches, sipping tea from a cup made of fine bone china.
Thankfully, the head cheerleader finger hurts less today then it did yesterday, which hurt less then Wound-day Friday. This is good, sausage-like swelling aside.

I'm starting to think that my injury posts are my own style cat blog. And this disturbs me.

Friday, November 25, 2005

I Don't Know How I Do These Things To Myself

I really don't.

Picture, if you will, a slight woman, with physical strength that belies her appearance. Picture her at the gym, say, this morning. Picture her at the high row machine, shifting plate weights off of the machine's arms.

She holds a 45 lbs plate weight in her hands. Her left cradles the bottom of the weight, steadying it, while her right hand lifts and guides, sliding the weight off of the machine's right arm. As the weight nears the end of the arm, she slips. And the weight slips out of her right hand. And subsequently falls onto the middle section of her left ring finger, crushing it between itself and a weight held on a rack below it.

She utters a definative, yet almost silent GODDAMN!

The finger starts to throb. And swell. And the woman goes to the hospital to get it x-rayed.

The result? No break, thank god, but an equally painful and deep soft tissue injury.

Here's what my hand looks like now, injured digit taped to it's stalwart neighbour.

Let the mocking begin.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Someone Needs to Buy Me Chocolates, Please

These ones, in particular.

Wild Sweets Exotic Chocolates have just released two seasonal collections: Harvest and Science Kit.

Let me break them down for you. The Harvest collection contains chocolate and autumn harvest pairings. Regard:

  • Apricot Chanterelle Emulsion & Plum Wine Reduction
  • Kabotcha, Coconut Milk & Sweet Curry Emulsion
  • Morel Icewine Emulsion & Walnut Panko Toast
  • Rhubarb Stilton Emulsion & Port Wine Reduction
  • Red Pepper, Raspberry & Vodka Emulsion
  • Mincemeat Caramel & Butternut Squash Emulsion (I'm assuming this is fruit-only mincemeat)
  • Sweet Pea Emulsion & Almond Nugat
  • Apple Red Cabbage Gelee & Chesnut Praline
  • Black truffle, Orange & Cinnamon Emulsion
  • Yellow Pepper, Mango & Vodka Emulsion
  • Parsnip, Pear & Vanilla Emulsion
  • Barbeque Tomato Jam & Matcha Lime Emulsion
And look, so pretty!

The Science Kit contains four chocolate desert experiments, totalling 64 portions. Holy crap!

  • #1 - TensioActivity/ Foaming: Apple Muscovado Consomme/Frappe, Chocolate Caviar & Puffed Quinoa Choco Grains
  • #2 - Hydrocolloids / Temperature & Texture: Strawberry Champagne Emulsion, Strawberry Carpaccio & Exotic Fruit Pearls
  • #3 - Encapsulation / Aroms: Orange Curry Gel / Chicory Licorice Emulsion Eprouvette, ChoCoffee Hot Ganache & Coffee Salt Oranges
  • #4 - Gel / Dispersion: Chocolate Dispersion, Cumin Gel, Raisin Confit & Exploding Crunch

Both are only available until Feb 11. But really, that gives me much time to get my belly some of the lovely awesomeness above.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Dwight Has a Blog

I am delighted.

Dwight's Blog.

My Kingdom for an Ice Cream Maker!

Good goddamn. Good. God. Damn, I said! How is it that no one that I know within reach out and punch them proximity has an ice cream maker that I can beg, borrow or steal? Especially when I have a recipe for chocolate cinnamon cayenne ice cream burning a whole in my back pocket?

Help me out here, kids. Don't make me buy an ice cream machine just so I can do this. Don't make me!

Oh, snap, you're going to make me, aren't you? I shake my fist at you, all of the people I know and love who haven't had the forethought to purchase an ice cream machine so I can borrow it.


I know, its been a few days, no? Sorry about that. I wish I could tell you stories of an exciting life filled with pirates and monkeys, but, alas, I cannot.

I have done not much more then the hanging out. And the shopping for presents for other people that I can't talk about right now, but am aching to, because, hello, PERFECTION, but they won't arrive at their destination for days, so they need to be kept under the non-existant hat (monkey pirate hat?) until they arrive and are opened, but, oh god, I'm excited to hear about the reception and will stop talking in run-on sentences now.

So I need to be quiet for a bit. Because the urge to throw out the secret into the open is growing like a boil.


PS: talking about gifts, how pissy is it that most gift guides published in this day and age (I just said day and age! Hack, I am) place all the electronic toys on lists for men? I am not a man. My lady parts tell me this. And I fucking love electronic gadgets.

The end.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I Can't Push Her Any Faster, Captain!

The battery - she's dead!

Gahhhhhh, what a day. Wandered on down to my car this morning. No response. Now, it's not like I expect my car to jump up and down and pee like an overexcited puppy when I walk into the garage, but I do expect some kind of cheerful response when I turn the key. Poor baby, she was sick and needed a boost.

Leaving from work to bring her in for a checkup at the doctor? Same response. Solution? Boost.

Half a kilometer away from the dealership, stopped at the lights on the offramp from the highway? She up and died!

Much like Scarlet O'Hara, I had to depend on the kindness of a lovely stranger named Ken who was able to manouver his truck in front of my car to give me a quick boost and followed me through 3 intersections until I reached my destination.

I go pick up my baby in an hour. I hope she feels like a new car. Or, you know, battery.

Random Starting Over awesomeness: Return of the snotty high pitched Josie cry today! Hot damn.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Baked Goods, My Favourite Scents Ever

Anyone who knows me knows me knows of my adoration for products that smell like baked goods and candy confections. Florals give me a headache, musks give me a headache, pure citrus scents give me a headache, but baked goods? Baked goods make my head feel lovely, and put my in a lovely, happy mood. Possibly because of the lack of headache, but more likely because of my love of dessert.

My food scented obsession began with purchase of Philosophy 3-in-1 shampoo / shower gel / conditioners, and quickly became a matter of collection. I can't begin to tell you how many of their scents I've tested, because, really, it's a little troubling. And as they continue to retire and replace them, I shall continue to buy and try and buy and try. My current favourite? Double Rich Hot Cocoa.

Because I felt the need to not only start my day with an excellently scented shower, but to carry on the smelly joy thoughout the day, I began sourcing perfume scents and moisturizers that could make me feel like I had a pastry chef making treats for me in my bag. The Body Bakery, Skindazzles, The Body Perfumery...all excellent places for the products I craved.

While visiting a friend in Chicago, she introduced me to Comptoir Sud Pacifique's Amour de Cacao. And I fell in love. You know how the slightly overcooked edges of a pan of brownies smells? The best bit of a pan of brownies? Damn. Straight.

I bring this up now because I just recieved my order of scented wax melts from Skindazzles. Yes, when I can't be making baked goods, I still want my house to smell like it. I'm currently taking in the scent of Cranberry Truffles, and I am delighted.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

It's a Random New York Post

Oh, yes it is.

1) Minor celebrity sightings: Because it wouldn't be a trip without them. On the way to Manhatten, I shared my plane with one Clark Johnson, or, as I'll always think of him, Detective Meldrick Lewis from Homicide: Life on the Street. Also, hilariously, when I was waiting at the ticketing desk, the guy in front of me, hoisting a guitar hardcase, was questioned by the ticketing agent about the band that he played in. His answer? Our Lady Peace. It made me feel sorry for him and think about the plight of the non-front man in a Canadian famous band. I wonder if they have support groups? And finally, when I was waiting for the plane from Toronto to deplane so I could climb aboard to head back to that city, none other then Earl Camem...erm, Eugene Levy was the first passenger to disembark.

2) Goddamn are there a lot of people in Manhatten. I thought I was doing fairly well with the crowds and the noise until I walked into the Saks on 5th Avenue. Crazy hordes! Crazy hordes buying cosmetics! Crazy hordes screeching about the cosmetics they want to buy. Walked in the door, walked back out. Freaked out. Ran away.

3) On my final full day in the city, I decided to go to the 5th Ave H&M to see the just unveiled Stella McCartney line. Holy crap, UGLIEST CLOTHING EVER. I wonder how many poor girls will be buying over-priced cheaply made shapeless pieces thinking that it gives them style when all it really does is make them look poorly dressed.

The end.

Saturday, November 12, 2005


So Rosemary tagged me into a game of talking about five women that inspired me. To tell you the truth, I have a hard time coming up with five things, let alone people, let alone people of the lady-part variety that have given me the inspirations, but I'm going to give it the old college try.


The ubiquetous choice, I know, but really, you gots you a mom, and that lady becomes a inspiration, one way or another. Thankfully, my mom is a lovely, incredible lady. And as the years go by, I become more and more impressed by the way she's growing as a person, and discovering who she is outside of a wife. And a mom. I consider her to be a friend, and that means so much to me, I don't think I can even begin to talk about it.


A friend and former boss. When Cori pulled a huge account that demanded all of her attention, she offered me a position in her PR company, taking over the bulk of all of her accounts. Her faith in my then untested abilities did a hell of a lot of things to help me believe in myself, and watching her work a room really gave me an understanding of how differently she operated from other women in the entertainment industry. I learned that it was possible to be a strong, confident and respected woman in music without being coy, cunning or underhanded.

Juliana Hatfield

I know, I know, musician! But seriously, her music inspired me to pick up a guitar. And travel about North America. And try things that were kind of scary. And to depend on myself, and the decisions that I made.

And that's all I can think of, really. Whoops?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Pumpkin Masala? Don't Mind if I Do.

Really. In fact, I'd be delighted!

Last night, a friend, her Melbourne-dwelling (Melbourne! I lived there! And last night, I became very nostolgic) houseguest and I went out for dinner.

The Location: The Bread Bar at Tabla. God, how I love it when high end restuarants open up less expensive children restuarants. Especially when they're located right inside the same space. Served tapas-style, the food was excellent. And more then reasonably priced. And, talking about the food...

The Eats: Green tomato pakoras; chickpea curry; cauliflower curry; rosemary naan; garlic naan; chutney sampler; white rice; and the dish that completely made the night for me: pumpkin masala.

Oh pumpkin masala. To you? To you, I pledge my love. Anyone have an excellent recipe for this dish? Because I feel like I need to be able to make it. And fill my ravenous stomach with it. For the rest of my days.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Hello New York. How YOU Dooooin'?

The things that you have brought to me today:

So, let's talk about Pure Food and Wine for a second. A wee bit back you might remember that I bought a few raw food cookbooks. One, Raw Food / Real World, is the cookbook that the owners of Pure Food and Wine unleashed on the world.

For the first course, I had the marinated shiitake, avocado and pickled ginger sushi rolls (with jicama instead of rice), and they ruled. To the extreme. 2001, even. For the second course, I ordered the zuchinni and golden tomato lasagna with basil-pistachio pesto, sundried tomato sauce and pignoli ricotta. Thing is? With every bite, the only thing I could think was that the raw lasagne that I cobbled together from Raw by Charlie Trotter and Raw Food / Real World was actually better then what was on my plate.

Take THAT happy couple on the Raw Food / Real World cookbook cover that had a horrible, messy and drama-filled (with chair throwing!) break-up!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

North Country

Last night, while in search of the fun with an old, old friend, we wound up at the movies, sitting in a showing of North Country.

I wasn't expecting much. In fact, I was expecting to hate it. Hollywood real-life based dramas? Yeah, they usually stink up the joint. This one, not so much. In fact, this one was pretty damn good.

I do wish, however, that Charlize would start being tossed meaty roles that don't make her alter her appearance. 'Cause, really? That totally becomes the focus of all the reviews and media coverage instead of her stellar performance. The girl can act. Get over the stunning beauty, people.

PS: Francis McDormand's Fargo accent was used to a brilliant extent. And talking about brilliance, her performance, and that of Sean Bean...well, damn. Brilliant.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

An Entertainment Haul, Oh My, Oh My!

I received an unexpected gift card today. So sweet, the givers! So lovely, the givers! So greedy, am I, because I used it all on myself.

What was my haul, you ask? Why, let me tell you!


  • Written In Rock: The Rick Springfield Anthology - Rick Springfield: Okay, when I talk about enduring crushes, this one is really the pinnacle of them all. My first rockshow? Rick Springfield. CNE. 1982. Yes, I was 8 years old. And I have never stopped loving him. And dude? He's returning to General Hospital on December 2nd!
  • Live It Out - Metric: intelligent rock music that you can shake your ass to. Love, love, love. And also, love.

  • Dead Like Me - Season 2: Dead Like Me is one of my special favourite shows. Special favourite! So, of course, it was cancelled after its second season. That makes me sad. I now have to watch Mandy Patinkin on Criminal Minds and Callum Blue on Related. It's not the same. I may also be spying on Ellen Muth's EBay activity in hopes of scoring some of the stellar pieces of George's wardrobe for cheap that she sometimes, apparently, offers up for sale. Who knew?
  • Arrested Development - Season 2: Arrested Development. Need I say more?

Confidential to Rose & Kate: Serenity is being released on DVD on December 20!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

eBay, I Love You.

I really, really do. First, the BCBG skirt, and now you give to me a lovely and amazing sink & faucet.

Regard, if you will:

And both? For CRAZY CHEAP.

I can't wait for next year to come. I can't wait for my master bathroom remodeling project. And being an impatient fool, I shall be driven to distraction until the renovation begins.

It's going to be a long six or seven months. Yes, indeed, it is.

PS: another scent that I love has to be the puff of smoke that wafts up from a small fire just blown out.

Monday, October 31, 2005

A Scary Movie Post for a Scary Movie Day

I hereby nominate Night of the Lepus for best bad scary movie ever.

"How many eyes does horror have? How many times will terror strike?"

Indeed. INDEED!

Baby, it has it all. And all-star cast! If by all-star, I mean Deforest Kelly and and Janet Leigh. A killer tag line! GIANT MUTANT KILLER RABBITS.

Oh, bad horror movies, look what joy you have unleashed on the world with this movie. Look, I say! Look, and rejoice, dammit.

Stop the Presses!

I am full of drama and news today. The latest? My Susur two volume history / cookbook has arrived! And it is beautiful.

The recipe section is fairly meat-centric, but the vegetarian recipes that are in there? Totally make the purchase worthwhile. The Singapore Slaw that I had at Lee's, his more casual restuarant located beside Susur? The one that I might have composed sonnets about? It's. In. There.

That is all.

Breaking News

The Colbert Report will begin airing in Canada NEXT MONDAY. Right after the Daily Show on both CTV and the Comedy Network.

Don't you love how my breaking news is about a fake news show?


Here's a story, if you don't believe my ass about this:

Colbert Report Comes North - The Toronto Star

Saturday, October 29, 2005

People Like Doing Things That They Do Well

It's a fact. And also, 30 Helens agree.

After over a month of avoiding hot yoga (monkey yoga!) due to not digging the teaching style of the instructor that's been teaching the only session that I could work into my schedule, I headed back yesterday to try out a session with a new instructor. And, goddamit, she ruled.

I kind of love the yoga because I'm preternaturally flexible. It also works all kinds of stress out of my body and lets my head get all quiet inside for a good 90 minutes. And I've been sad and stressed with missing weeks of classes, but, quite seriously, for me, a worthwhile class means an instructor that corrects your positioning, pushes you to your limits in a pose, and mixes in new postures amoungst the traditional parts of the session. And damn if that didn't happen yesterday. I'm hoping that she'll take over the session for good, or at least teach it on a regular basis.

On the flipside of liking things that we do well, I may have cried at work this week because a client isn't allowing me to do my work well. I like my work. I'm good at it. And it is just so frustrating and infuriating (and, apparently, tear inducing due to the frustration and fury) when they demand that you do things that you patently know is horrid and wrong. I am happy to say, however, that the tears didn't start until I was outside of the building, on my way to the car, and outside of the view of, oh, anyone at all. I hate crying in public because I'm a seriously ugly crier. The snot and the red eyes and the flushed skin? Yes, indeed.

But the yoga? It helped me sweep all the anger away, and get back to my monkey-loving stupidity. As usual.

The end.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

A Shout Out to Canadian Jewellery Designers

Affordable Canadian jewellery designers, that is. Hello. I love you.

I bring this up because, in a stroke of genius, Flare Magazine is offering a necklace by Foxy Originals as a gift with subscription. Which made me subscribe, 'cause, goddamn, I really like Foxy necklaces, and I read the magazine anyway? And baby, I gots me a new necklace in the mail today!

Foxy Originals has some really lovely, chunky and large enamel pieces, and some beautful metal-worked pieces as well. Here are a couple of necklaces that I claim as mine.

The pink one in the middle:

And the gold one:

A SoulFlower pendent was my first grown-up looking jewellery purchase. They are truely my favourite source for pendants. Finding examples of their work online, however? Not an easy task. Especially as their site is Flash-based. Which is a much bigger irk-issue that I have with retail websites to be discussed another date. But I digress.

SoulFlower uses materials like silver, wood, shell and tile. Their shell mosaic works make me salivate. Indeed, they do.

It Blows on a Nail and the Nail Goes in the Tree

Home Movies ranks amoungst my favourite animated shows ever. Ever, I say! I love the fact that my morning pre-work routine includes a viewing of an episode before jumping in the shower. Somehow, it makes my day start on a crazy, silly, excellent note.


My new favourite thing comes via an email from a lovely co-worker. It has lead me to ask, "Why, of all people, do I not have a Trunk Monkey?"


Confidential to Olives: I can see you clicking on the link that's been posted on the board as the way you guys are getting here via the metric software on my blog. If you're going to continue reading, why don't you at least say hi?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Susur! Cookbook! Hot. Damn.

Seriously now. SERIOUSLY. I am so very excited about this news. One of my top two meals ever occured at Susur Lee's restuarant Susur. On the evening of my 31st birthday, my friend Brad and I dined on a meal that I still get a little choked up about. 5 course vegetarian tasting menu? Yes, please.

This month, Susur Lee fufilled one of my cookbook dreams, and released Susur: A Culinary Life. It's a two volume set, the first of which details Susur's life as a chef, with the second being packed full of 90 recipes and pictures of his creations.

I ordered a copy today. I can't wait for it to arrive. And even though reviewers have said that the recipes are a challenge, I so very much look forward to taking a crack at the vegetarian items within.

Oh, the excitement! I seriously flapped my arms like a goon when I found out about the book this morning. A goon!

I then emailed the Green Zebra in Chicago to urge their chef to publish a cookbook as well. As the place where my other top two meals occurred, I feel that if they could deliver such a thing, my epicurious DIY life would be complete.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

DVR Glee

Glee, I said. GLEE. This morning, my cable company final pushed out a download that turns on my unit's second reciever. I can now watch one program while recording another to the DVRs hard drive. I think this will do crazy things to my TV watching productivity rate.

What, like you didn't think I had a TV watching productivity rate? Please. Get real here, people.

Issues that I have with my cable company, however:

  • They provide no notice when things like this will take place. Customer service and communication are not their strong suits.
  • I was watching the news (read: The Daily Show morning rerun) while getting ready for work. The surprise push-download required that the unit turn itself off, and not reactivate until the download was complete. I now feel off-schedule and off-balance, as my pre-leave-the-house routine always involves The Daily Show

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Today is Not a Fun Day

And, let's face it, neither was yesterday. I am work-tired. Or, more accurately, work-frustrated. Or, even more truthfully, furious at the departments that my team has to work with. Sometimes, working at a company that fosters inter-departmental competition and one-upmanship (well, that doesn't exist in my department, but it's something that we have to deal with on a regular basis) can really hit that part of my brain that makes me hate.

I don't like hating. In fact, I hate it. Har.

It makes the rest of life not fun, you know?

This post is a bummer. There's no fixing that.

I am hopeful that tomorrow will be better. I am always hopeful.

One excellent thing: Rick Springfield will be guest starring on General Hospital starting December 2nd. See, there usually is a good thing down the road, baby.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Scents are Amazing Things

Seriously, they are. There are certain aromas that make me so damn happy, I can't even tell you. I bring this up because I was at my parents' place earlier this evening. They live in a neighbourhood where every house has built with a wood burning, built in fireplace. One of their neighbours was happily at it, burning the most amazing smelling wood. And, with one wiff, all of a sudden it was FALL. And it was awesome.

But everyone loves the smell of a good fire. So I've decided to start a list of scents that I adore that may seem odd.

. Barn
. Toast, just before it starts to burn
. Windex

More to come as I think of them.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Monkey Socks have Butts!

It's true. And, thankfully, they (both the butts and non-butts) have sweet dispositions, and have made friends with mini sock monkey and the naked pirate, as evidenced in the comfy TV watching pile-up below.

Talking about TV, holy crap do I have a shitload to get through. STARTING OVER! Holy crap. I just sat through this weeks episodes and I don't think I've ever seen better TV ever.


Okay then.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Rainy. In the Fall. In Boston.

I don't often write about my job, because, for some reason, I feel that's private. As opposed to all of the weird-ass things I have running about my head that I empty here, day after day, in a manner that probably leads some of you to believe that that girl? Not quite right in the head.

Anyway, I'm in Boston this week for a conference. I'm learning a hell of a lot, and am still managing to have fun. I would like to say, however, as learning point for presenters, just a couple of things:

  • If your presentation entails me, watching you, watching your co-presenter use software, and the presentation isn't actually about that software, you are making a bad, bad presentation.
  • Pockets are for small things. Although you might be able to fit a Zach Morris-esque cell phone into your pockets, it doesn't mean you should.
I went out with my friend Lori last night. She is hilarious and lovely, and I am so glad we had the time to meet up. Also? She gave me monkey socks. And lip glosses that taste and smell like ice cream and coffee. WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?

Whole Foods sparkling mineral water tastes like ass. How can you mess up mineral water, I ask. It takes a special person to figure that one out.

So far, I have successfully stayed away from the Sephora in town. Two more days. Two more days. Two more days and I will be safely out of range.

Monday, October 10, 2005

I Am Missing the International Noise Conspiracy!

Because I am at a confernce in Boston, and not back near Toronto. Dammit! And damn you, Toronto weeklies, for not listing them on the show bill, and listing only The Bravery instead. Worst? They're playing Boston. Hours after I leave.

This will be the first INC show in Toronto that I have missed. It is making me sad and angry. Because I love them so. LOVE.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I Feel Like I Need a New Camera

And only because I suffer from tech-lust. It's a sickness, I know, and it makes me want things when I really don't need them.

See, I have a digital camera. Granted, it's a Kodak Easy Share DX3900, bought back in 2001. Granted, it's only 3MP. Granted, it's the size of a shoe. Or a phone. It's the size of a shoe phone. And granted, the rechargable battery life is all kinds of ass. But really, does that justify wanting a new camera?

Here's the Kodak:

Please note sexxxay docking station.

And here's the little lady that I wish were mine:

Say hello to the Canon Powershot SD30. 5MP! Purple! Red! Descrete docking station! Not to be mistaken for a shoe phone!

I feel like I could be an effective spy with this camera.

I don't know if that's a good thing or not. But I still want. Oh, yes, I do.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

A Random Post for a Random Day

Sometimes, when the water from my showerhead hits my showercurtain just right, it sounds like applause. Every time I take a shower, I come out at the end, feeling like I accomplished something wonderful.

Dear BCBG coats located in a post down yonder: you and I, I'm sad to inform you, will never be. Because I might have just made use of my clothing budget for winter to purchase a Mackage coat. But it made me think of you all, it did, with it's turned up collar and ability to fit me like it was made for me right off the rack.

Here's a picture of my new love. Except mine is black. And not pimped out with a bargazillion gold chains.

I, quite simply, CANNOT WAIT for winter.

PS: Starting Over started for real today. EXCELLENT. Freakshows! Oh, man. I am a little sad that they're milking the events of September 11, but I can forgive the show for giving me TJ the asshole and Jill the diva shoplifter drama.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


As evidenced by the all caps used in the title of this post.

This morning: Lyndsey Lohan totals her car
Mid-morning: Us Weekly publishes that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey break up
Early afternoon: ETOnline reports that Paris Hilton has taken to wearing crazy costumes, replete with prothestics, to go to churches and her brother's soccer games
Right NOW: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announce they're having a baby

I think I might faint. This is the BEST GOSSIP DAY EVER.

Goddamnit, I Need Me a Robot

Say hello to Roboraptor.

Here is what his people have to say about him:

A Fusion of Technology and Personality

Dinosaurs are back and roaming the earth in the 32” long Roboraptor, an advanced fusion of technology and personality. With his advanced artificial intelligence personality, realistic biomorphic motions, direct control and autonomous (free-roam) modes, the Age of Dinosaurs has truly returned. Roboraptor comes to life with the following features:

- Fluid bi-pedal motion: walking, running and predatory gaits
- Realistic body movements: turning head and neck; whipping tail actions
- Three distinct moods: hunter, cautious and playful
- Autonomous environmental interaction: responds with mood specific behaviors and sounds
- Mood dependent behavior: aggressive/hunting mood; nervous/cautious mood; friendly/playful mood
- Multi-sensory: touch sensors in his tail, chin and mouth; sonic sensors
- Infra-red vision system detects objects in his path, or approaching him
- Powerful jaws that play tug-of war games, “bite” and pull
- “Laser” tracking technology: trace a path on the ground and he’ll follow it
- Visual and sonic guard mode
- Responds to commands from Robosapien V2
- Auto shut-off function
- Video game style controller
- Demonstration mode
- 40+ pre-programmed functions
- Battery Requirements: 6 X "AA", 3 X "AAA" (not included)

I feel like he and his battery food source needs to come live with me. But not that Robosapien fool. He's just too subservient and into showing off dance moves for my taste.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I Covet Too Expensive Clothing

Oh, BCBG, I adore you, and you know it. I also love that you have sales, and I will be visiting you at the end of season to try to pick up at least one of these suckers.

This jacket:

These coats:

These shoes:

I am Feeling Like the Weather Has Teenage Boy Disease

Becuase it's all Come Here - Go Away, Come Here - Go Away!

Not that I'm really complaining too much today. Or yesterday. Or, I postulate, tomorrow. I love the fact that I can go bare legged during the first week of October. I just hate that I forget to bring the jackets that I wear first thing in the morning home with me after work because the heat? The heat tells me that I need no jacket! And so I tend to forget that I brought one with me. Last week, I got up to a count of three in the back room where we hang up our stuff. Ha, whoops?

I am heading out to Boston on Sunday for a professional conference, which is lovely and exciting. I adore Boston because I have never had anything but fun there. Plus, Boston in the early autumn? Hot damn with the beauty.

For the first time ever, however, my family will be forgoing celebrating Thanksgiving. Not like it's ever been more then a more elaborate Sunday dinner where my mom makes stuffing outside of the turkey so I can eat it (damn vegetarian! I can hear you say), but it's still a little weird. I'm sure my mom and dad would've been pushing for a celebration on the Saturday, but, showing her true, selfish, ignorant family colours, my cousin decided to get married that day.

Right. Married. In the middle of a long weekend. Is there anything more demanding? "Hey, the last long weekend without snow! Let's make all of our relatives stay close to home and make them come to a wedding! And make it not only on a long weekend, but right in the middle so that they can't really do ANYTHING to take advantage of having three days off!"

Thank God that I have so many cousins that we're never invited to these things. But poor mom and dad and aunts and uncles. But also, haha, I don't have to go. Not like I would've, but still. Ha?

Okay then.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Glaucoma Testing, Midget Faces and DVR Love

I am blind. Well, that's an exaggeration, but seriously, if I don't have some kind of corrective lense in front of my Precious Moment-like eyeballs, I tend to run into things and say "Excuse me" to inanimate objects.

Confession: I say "Excuse me" to inanimate objects even when I'm wearing contacts or glasses. Because I'm polite that way.

Anyway, I had my vision tested this morning, and my slide into darkness continues. -6.5 in each eye! I feel like I should recieve an award for that. Anyway, my optometrist performed a glaucoma test as well, and seriously, I think there is no stranger sensation then having the nerves in your eyeballs deadened by eyedrops. I could feel the insides of my eyelids sliding across them. It was fucking insane, and a little awesome.

The frames for my new glasses? Why, yes, I did get new frames. And, because I have a midget face (it goes with my midget feet, you see), I ended up buying a pair of kids frames. A picture of which I cannot find online, so a photo of me wearing the suckers will have to wait until they're in my possession.

Completely unrelated, but I bring it up because I'm currently watching Vera Drake, which is heartbreaking and amazing and one of the best things I've seen on-film in ages, is my love for my DVR. Kate thinks I have an unnatural relationship with it, and I have a sneaking suspicion that she's right. But, really, how can you not love something that records shows for you while you sleep and have forgotten that you told it to tape?

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Peanut, Peanut Butter

And more peanut butter. Because, really, Sharon? Lois? Bram? You know that the best thing to have with peanut butter is more peanut butter.

I whipped up another batch of banana flavoured peanut butter, and tried my hand at cinnamon flavoured as well. Hint: 6 cinnamon sticks for 1.5 cups. I used my coffee bean grinder to pound those suckers to powder, but I think if I'm going to continue to make the cinnamon PB, I'm going to have to invest in a really good one, or maybe a dedicated spice grinder, that will make an even finer powder.

The end.

When Decorating Becomes a Disease

I have a kickass aubergine purple kitchen. All of the cupboards and major appliances are white. Because the purple wasn't crazy enough, I decided to accessorize in shades of blue and apple green. And I get a little crazy when I come across things in those colours because, seriously, for a kitchen, they're damn hard to come by unless you make them yourself (hi, spray painted range hood!)

A couple of days ago, I went into a Home Outfitters near my office, and I was filled with delight and longing. Why? BECAUSE OF THE APPLE GREEN AND ROBIN'S EGG BLUE!

I managed to leave the store purchasing only a couple of apple green cutting boards and an apple green trash can:

I might have cried a little because I left the following behind:

I only use toaster ovens!

I don't like milkshakes!

I have a food processor, so why would I need a blender?

Okay, I could use a stand mixer. Christmas is coming?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Hello, Geeks. Goodbye, Olives.

Because if you're reading this, you know you are one, what with the perusing blogs on the Interwebs (thanks for the new silly word, Heather).

Right, so you're a geek. Which means you, at one time or another, have been a member of an online community. Which also means that you, and that community, have probably grown in different directions, again, at one time or another.

This? This is my one time. Or another. Yesterday, I decided to stop posting at one of the boards that I have been a part of for the past bargazillion years. No, not that one. Anyway. After months of just not having fun, I realized that the bulk of the posters and I just didn't have anything in common any more. And it was making me more judgemental then usual.

Of course, that leaves a decision to be made. Make an announcement and deal with questions that I'd rather not answer, or just stop posting? I went with S-Words, Alex. Uh, option #2. Yes, I know that's the poo option.

Thing is, it wasn't weird not visiting last night. Or today. The time was right, I reckon, to just mosey on down the road.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Raw Falafels Are Bastards

And masters of the bait and switch! They made my kitchen smell lovely and falafel-y while dehydrating all yesterday and last night, but tasted like sand-texture ass. I shake my fist at you, raw food falafel!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Raw Food Update #1: Lasagne

If this isn't the most fatastic thing that I have ever made, I don't know what is.

I Have Never Spent So Much Time Preparing Food

It makes you wonder if it's at all worth it. Today, I've made two dishes from my raw food cookbook - a zuchinni lasagne with cashew cheese and a marinara sauce, and falafels that are dehydrated instead of deep fried. The soaking of the nuts and the seeds, the prep time of the sauces and the cheese, the construction of the dishes, the completely delayed satisfaction of tucking in to them, it's driven me crazy. I won't be able to try the lasagne for a couple more hours, and the falafels won't be done until tomorrow morning.

I will be sorely disappointed if they suck.

But everything smells insanely good? Okay then. Results posted tomorrow, I reckon.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

INXS Chooses A Singer

Let the horrible puns begin.

There was no doubt in my mind that Mig put himself out of the running with his inability to write songs that didn't belong in a Broadway musical, and his choice to perform Bohemian Rhapsody. It made me a little sad, though. Also, when he stood beside JD and Marty, I was shocked to see just how tiny the little man is. Midget Mig, you're a sweet, stupid man, and I will miss you.

JD performance was, well, it was Hutchence-light. The tracing of random patterns in the air with his hand, the hip swivelling, the swagger...okay. Here it is. When he sang "You Can't Always Get What You Want", clearly, and with something I can only admit was soul, I knew he had it in the bag. And then seeing the way he interacted with the band on stage, it was unmistakeable that INXS had already chosen their new singer.

Marty will be better off without INXS. Although I fear that Dave Navarro will be stalking him with both dedication and boa-clad applomb.

INXS' new song Easy Easy sounded remarkedly like every other INXS song that has been released.

And so it goes.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Destruction, and Construction, Is Done

PS: When I was in Chicago at the start of the month, I was taken on a lovely Starting Over tour. It fucking ruled.

Rockstar: Product Placement

Nothing says ROCKSTAR more then a black Honda Civic with a tan leather interior. No sir, no way.

Having the kids sit down with Andrew Farriss to write a song was a stroke of brilliance. And here's the game that they all seem to be playing: Marty attempts to show that he isn't a control freak. JD attempts to show that he's pliable. Mig doesn't seem to know that there's a game to be played.

The results? Marty and Andrew compose what seems to be a fine radio song. For "alternative" radio. Which is something that I think INXS is afraid of and not interested in persuing. JD comes to the session unprepared and, in my estimation, though he was trying to cover it up, pisses off Andrew. He lets Andrew take the lead, and they come up with something that sounds like an INXS single. Mig? Mig gives Andrew lyrics about puppy dogs and rainbows. You can see Andrew mentally sighing as he urges Mig to present something a little more pain-filled and dark.

The boys get to choose their own songs for tonight's preformance. JD chooses You Can't Always Get What You Want. Marty chooses something that I can't remember. Mig, the stupid, lovely man, chooses Bohemian Rhapsody. Oy.

High point of last night's episode: JD's confessional where it was quite clear that he was fucked out of his head. Awesome!

I can't wait for tonight's trainwreck.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Starting Over, What Is It That You're Doing?

You give me Allison on the way to a full hysterectomy, and then you bait and switch with four couples who's main issue is that they refuse to speak to each other about what they're thinking and feeling? You're a cruel, cruel mistress, you are. Especially when you taunt with what looks to be bath tub life coaching tomorrow?

Trainwreck, you are unavoidable. And you draw me, like a moth to a wool sweater on fire. Also, that shot of Iyanla with a single tear slowly making its way down her cheek in the opening credits? Fucking brilliant.

PS: Where is Dr Stan? I like to think that these episodes were taped during the Jackson trial, and lovely yet creepy Dr Stan is currently on the stand. Testifying, as it is.

I recieved an awesome Amazon order in the mail today. Amoungst it was the Smoosh CD "She Like Electric" (I do!) and a book of photographs by Loretta Lux. Awesomely talented kids making excellent indie rock, and hauntingly beautiful images of creepy children.

Hi, I only like kids when they astound or instill horror. And when they're no where near me in real life.

Anyway, the Lux book will result in cheap art for my walls. I have plans to frame and hang the following images:

Fast and Furious - In a Rapid and Even More Rapid Way

Just so we're clear. 'Cause Paul Walker? Kind of gross.

I made my own PB Loco Jungle Banana style peanut butter this weekend. Here's the easy recipe: 3 teaspoons of imitation banana extract for every cup of peanut butter. The end. I resisted using real bananas because I fear the rancidity. So does the monkey. The verdict? The monkey loves. Although it's a great dupe of the PB Loco stuff, I reckon I'll try to experiment with adding a spice or two next time. Perhaps nutmeg?

I sent a friend of my mom's to the Green Zebra while she was in Chicago last week. Apparently, she too now thinks that they make the BEST FOOD EVER CREATED. That's mad-awesome in my books.

I have been watching so much TV, I can't even tell you. And it's just going to get crazier. Today? Today is a day that I've been waiting for all summer. The return of Starting Over! The return of Arrested Development! Holy crap.

Right. Enough for now. The end.

Friday, September 16, 2005

I Was Defeated by the Seasonal Change

Especially since it ganged up with the weather in a plot against me. I haven't been this tired in ages. Ages, I say, and there's no real reason for it, except that it's turned into jacket weather in the mornings, and today was all grey and rainy and gross.

I woke up, hit the gym, hard, and went into work this morning, where, all of a sudden, I seemed to hit a wall. I had every intention of going to Monkey Yoga after work, and had packed my Monkey bags with my Monkey Yoga clothes, and tried to wear a Monkey attitude. By the end of the day, I quitely put my bag into my car's trunk and drove home.


And now I yawn.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Rockstar: THE TOUR. Hot Damn.

Suzie will have some kind of singing career. In a soft rock band. And that's okay for her, I think. It was the right time for her to be kicked off. PS: I am in love with the cut away shot to a depressed Dave Navarro. I am secretly thinking that he had plans to tap that ass if she won.

Mig dissappointed me with his performance. It seemed like he put more concentration into pogo-ing then singing. I still think INXS will choose him, though, following their comment about how amazing they thought his performance was.

JD pulled it out tonight. He impressed me. And I'm a big enough woman to admit that.

Who's going to see ROCKSTAR: THE TOUR with me?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Post Where I Admit JD Put On a Good Show

I hate to say it, but last night JD was the only contestant who came at all close to being the kind of frontperson who could lead the kind of band that INXS is under the impression that is still is. He sounded pretty good, and, dammit, if he was the only one who actually sounded like he was performing at a rockshow instead of singing a song for show and tell with his in-between song banter. But, dude, what the hell was up with the prop cash at the end of "Money"?

Suzie proved, again, that she's not a rock singer. A weak pop-blues singer, yes. Rock? Not so much. I also had to laugh about how she went on and on about being a woman not being an issue, and yet wore a distinctly masculine pant and suit vest when performing.

I figured Marty out last night. Marty can come alive onstage - but only when he's singing his own songs. He looks like a freaking robot, going through the motions, when he sings songs that other people have written. Plus, his vocal range seems to lessen with every performance. This does not bode well for his chances with INXS, but, I think, he'll be voted most likely to turn this show into a viable carreer when all is said and done.

Mig, Mig, what the hell? I think this week was your weakest performance(s) since the show began. Instead of looking like a singer fronting a band, you came across like a actor playing the part of a singer. I thought we had gotten past all this musical theatre crap.

Dear Dave Navarro: you are a very talented guitar player. I like that you don't get guitar-face when you play. I hate that you're a fucking showboat. Tell me, when are you going to announce that you have a solo CD coming out? The show only has another week in it's run, mister.

Memo to Brooke Burke: I think your stylists are having an awesome time with the fact that you seem to believe them when they tell you that you look hot AND professional in those outfits, and not at all like a groupie willing to sex it up with freaking roadies.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Behavioral Interview

On Rockstar: INXS, that is.

Sidenote: How the hell do you sub-title a titled work with a freaking colon in it? Seriously, how silly does Rockstar: INXS - The Behavioural Interview look? It makes me feel like I should just be using punctuation marks and no words at all anymore.


Right, on with the breakdown.

Erm, not much happened? JD's mom and sister showed up as his prize for winning the encore. JD then waxed poetic over his hard, hard childhood. And I snorted.

INXS then held one-on-one interviews with each contestant, and asked them the hard questions. Except the questions? They were couched in the nicest terms imaginable. Anyway, here's a list of the bands' Yays and Boos for each quote rocker unquote.

YAY: he's the "dangerous" one, hence, shades of Michael. Pale, pale, almost invisible shades of Michael, but whatever.
BOO: he's a fake-ass asshat.
NOTE: They've asked JD to perform his co-written number, "Pretty Vegas", on tonight's show. JD might be an ass, but he really knows how to play these old men. "My ORIGINAL song will be the one that INXS asked us to write lyrics to! How can they not love it?" Answer: They can't. Not love it, I mean. Because IT'S THEIR SONG ALREADY.

YAY: energy and drive
BOO: too opinionated
NOTE: INXS has also asked Marty to perform his original song. Which is good and bad. Good because it was a total modern-rock radio song. Bad because I think INXS will use the fact that the style of the song doesn't fit with their band to boot him off instead of JD this week.

YAY: He can perform like a motherfucker. And he's lovely.
BOO: Musical theatre. Does anything else need to be said about that?
NOTE: INXS didn't ask Mig to play his original song this week. Poor Mig. If you needed to know, again, that the band thought your song sucked it, there you go.

YAY: Strong voice that sounds great when singing the INXS back catalogue
BOO: Because she's a woman, she must be an emotional mess
NOTE: I can't remember what song they asked Suzie to sing. Whoops? I put it down to the rage that accompanied their comments about her emotional reaction to the questions they asked her. Dude, people get nervous in an interview. Would you rather recieve pat, fake answers, or see someone expressing what they really feel?

INXS, the band? Yeah, they pretty much stink. I do, however, appreciate that they're pretending to not know who they're going to pick, and are doing much to contribute to the tension in the house. Also, I love that they're keeping up the rock-stars-must-wear-sunglasses-indoors uniform alive.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Online Shopping? No! Birthday in my Mailbox!

It really is, you know. Which is why, I reckon, I love it so.

I recieved perfume samples that I had ordered last week today, and I've spent a good part of the evening trying them on, letting them move through their scent levels and interact with my skin, and washing them on to try another sample.

Samples! Seriously, how mad-awesome is that? More then I could ever tell you unless you try it yourself. I ordered the samples that I recieved from a place in Hoboken, NJ called The Body Perfumery. In addition to the florals and citrus and woodsy scents that you'd expect from a perfume oil company, they also knock off some well known scents, and, loveliness-lovely, offer baked-goods and candy scented products as well. Chocolate de Belgique? Come to me.

I'm hoping that my raw food cookbooks, Raw Food / Real World (Kenny / Melngailis / Karetnick) and Raw (Charlie Trotter). The thought of raw food cooking is currently obsessing me. Why? Dunno. But I can't wait for these suckers to be mine.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Pickled Beets Bring out the Pirate in Me

I spent most of today helping my mom prepare and can what will become pickled beets. A bushel full. And goddamn if it hasn't given me a new found respect for anyone how does any kind of preservation projects on a regular basis.

I was swearing and threatening the beets at the end of the day. Swearing and threatening like a pirate.

It's been a busy weekend. Last night I went to a party at my old boss' place. Except, it was a bunch of people sitting on a patio with the music turned too low, and screaming, running toddlers. Why this was called a "party", I do not know. I tried to stick it out, but after an hour and a half, I had to jet.

I also picked up a raw food cookbook! That is mad-exciting to me. So much so that I ordered two more. Very soon, I shall have a raw food dinner party. Who wants to come?

Friday, September 09, 2005

Today is a Day Where I Acquire Things

Hey, did I tell you about the time that I bought a painting? Well, wee monkeys, it arrived today! It is even lovelier in person. I heart it. I heart it completely.

I also broke down this afternoon and picked up a DVR (think Tivo, but cable-company specific) this afternoon. I am having too much fun pausing live TV and recording things to a hard drive.

Oh, man.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Please Get Me This Shirt. Rire!

See You, Jordis!

Give 'Em the Boot Recap:

Recap of the recap. Bah. I have watched your episodes, Rockstar: INXS, and I have seen what you are showing me already. Please don't try to trick me into thinking that I inadvertantly stepped into a time machine and it's Monday then Tuesday night. Because it's Wednesday, dammit, and I want to see who gets the boot!

But first, the encore. JD and his silly abs won the hearts of the voting public (wait until he hears that he's still in the bottom three!). But wait! What's this? INXS wants to open for JD, and, mymy, they want to perform a new song!

I swear, this is the most contrived piece of television that I have ever witnessed.

"Hey, INXS, why don't you open for JD?"
"Hey, Rockers, why don't you sing with INXS?"
"Hey, Dave, why don't you join us on stage?"

The song is a stinker. And the performance? And old person's American Idol.

On to JD's encore performance: Has anyone mentioned the hilarity of the megaphone yet? Scott Weiland wants his schtick back. And that includes the ab bearing dress shirts.

Jordis is the first of the bottom three called on stage. She sings. And while watching, I come to the conclusion that when not singing a ballad, Jordis has the stage presense of a 10th grade girl standing by the school gym wall in the middle of a dance, waiting for a boy that will never ask her out onto the floor, trying to look like she doesn't care.

She doesn't want to be INXS' singer any more.

I don't blame her.

I think Garry Gary was not at all impressed.

Suzie is the next up. INXS loves Suzie. Evidence: they give her a song that they know she can give a killer performance of. Never Tear Us Apart is so suited for her voice, it's not even funny. Freaking teachers pet, she is.

And, what's this? JD in the bottom three? Hot damn. Except he kind of sounds okay this time around. But he still makes me dislike my previously held favourite INXS song, Mystify, with the fire of a thousand suns. I hate JD's stupid seizure dancing and skipping, and hand clapping to the mic.

But, in the end, it's Jordis' lack of desire that gets the better of her. The band kicks her off, but Dave vows that one day, he and she will make the most beeee-a-uuuuutilful music together.

I have a suspicion that "music" means the sex.