Thursday, September 29, 2005

Peanut, Peanut Butter

And more peanut butter. Because, really, Sharon? Lois? Bram? You know that the best thing to have with peanut butter is more peanut butter.

I whipped up another batch of banana flavoured peanut butter, and tried my hand at cinnamon flavoured as well. Hint: 6 cinnamon sticks for 1.5 cups. I used my coffee bean grinder to pound those suckers to powder, but I think if I'm going to continue to make the cinnamon PB, I'm going to have to invest in a really good one, or maybe a dedicated spice grinder, that will make an even finer powder.

The end.

When Decorating Becomes a Disease

I have a kickass aubergine purple kitchen. All of the cupboards and major appliances are white. Because the purple wasn't crazy enough, I decided to accessorize in shades of blue and apple green. And I get a little crazy when I come across things in those colours because, seriously, for a kitchen, they're damn hard to come by unless you make them yourself (hi, spray painted range hood!)

A couple of days ago, I went into a Home Outfitters near my office, and I was filled with delight and longing. Why? BECAUSE OF THE APPLE GREEN AND ROBIN'S EGG BLUE!

I managed to leave the store purchasing only a couple of apple green cutting boards and an apple green trash can:

I might have cried a little because I left the following behind:

I only use toaster ovens!

I don't like milkshakes!

I have a food processor, so why would I need a blender?

Okay, I could use a stand mixer. Christmas is coming?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Hello, Geeks. Goodbye, Olives.

Because if you're reading this, you know you are one, what with the perusing blogs on the Interwebs (thanks for the new silly word, Heather).

Right, so you're a geek. Which means you, at one time or another, have been a member of an online community. Which also means that you, and that community, have probably grown in different directions, again, at one time or another.

This? This is my one time. Or another. Yesterday, I decided to stop posting at one of the boards that I have been a part of for the past bargazillion years. No, not that one. Anyway. After months of just not having fun, I realized that the bulk of the posters and I just didn't have anything in common any more. And it was making me more judgemental then usual.

Of course, that leaves a decision to be made. Make an announcement and deal with questions that I'd rather not answer, or just stop posting? I went with S-Words, Alex. Uh, option #2. Yes, I know that's the poo option.

Thing is, it wasn't weird not visiting last night. Or today. The time was right, I reckon, to just mosey on down the road.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Raw Falafels Are Bastards

And masters of the bait and switch! They made my kitchen smell lovely and falafel-y while dehydrating all yesterday and last night, but tasted like sand-texture ass. I shake my fist at you, raw food falafel!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Raw Food Update #1: Lasagne

If this isn't the most fatastic thing that I have ever made, I don't know what is.

I Have Never Spent So Much Time Preparing Food

It makes you wonder if it's at all worth it. Today, I've made two dishes from my raw food cookbook - a zuchinni lasagne with cashew cheese and a marinara sauce, and falafels that are dehydrated instead of deep fried. The soaking of the nuts and the seeds, the prep time of the sauces and the cheese, the construction of the dishes, the completely delayed satisfaction of tucking in to them, it's driven me crazy. I won't be able to try the lasagne for a couple more hours, and the falafels won't be done until tomorrow morning.

I will be sorely disappointed if they suck.

But everything smells insanely good? Okay then. Results posted tomorrow, I reckon.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

INXS Chooses A Singer

Let the horrible puns begin.

There was no doubt in my mind that Mig put himself out of the running with his inability to write songs that didn't belong in a Broadway musical, and his choice to perform Bohemian Rhapsody. It made me a little sad, though. Also, when he stood beside JD and Marty, I was shocked to see just how tiny the little man is. Midget Mig, you're a sweet, stupid man, and I will miss you.

JD performance was, well, it was Hutchence-light. The tracing of random patterns in the air with his hand, the hip swivelling, the swagger...okay. Here it is. When he sang "You Can't Always Get What You Want", clearly, and with something I can only admit was soul, I knew he had it in the bag. And then seeing the way he interacted with the band on stage, it was unmistakeable that INXS had already chosen their new singer.

Marty will be better off without INXS. Although I fear that Dave Navarro will be stalking him with both dedication and boa-clad applomb.

INXS' new song Easy Easy sounded remarkedly like every other INXS song that has been released.

And so it goes.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Destruction, and Construction, Is Done

PS: When I was in Chicago at the start of the month, I was taken on a lovely Starting Over tour. It fucking ruled.

Rockstar: Product Placement

Nothing says ROCKSTAR more then a black Honda Civic with a tan leather interior. No sir, no way.

Having the kids sit down with Andrew Farriss to write a song was a stroke of brilliance. And here's the game that they all seem to be playing: Marty attempts to show that he isn't a control freak. JD attempts to show that he's pliable. Mig doesn't seem to know that there's a game to be played.

The results? Marty and Andrew compose what seems to be a fine radio song. For "alternative" radio. Which is something that I think INXS is afraid of and not interested in persuing. JD comes to the session unprepared and, in my estimation, though he was trying to cover it up, pisses off Andrew. He lets Andrew take the lead, and they come up with something that sounds like an INXS single. Mig? Mig gives Andrew lyrics about puppy dogs and rainbows. You can see Andrew mentally sighing as he urges Mig to present something a little more pain-filled and dark.

The boys get to choose their own songs for tonight's preformance. JD chooses You Can't Always Get What You Want. Marty chooses something that I can't remember. Mig, the stupid, lovely man, chooses Bohemian Rhapsody. Oy.

High point of last night's episode: JD's confessional where it was quite clear that he was fucked out of his head. Awesome!

I can't wait for tonight's trainwreck.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Starting Over, What Is It That You're Doing?

You give me Allison on the way to a full hysterectomy, and then you bait and switch with four couples who's main issue is that they refuse to speak to each other about what they're thinking and feeling? You're a cruel, cruel mistress, you are. Especially when you taunt with what looks to be bath tub life coaching tomorrow?

Trainwreck, you are unavoidable. And you draw me, like a moth to a wool sweater on fire. Also, that shot of Iyanla with a single tear slowly making its way down her cheek in the opening credits? Fucking brilliant.

PS: Where is Dr Stan? I like to think that these episodes were taped during the Jackson trial, and lovely yet creepy Dr Stan is currently on the stand. Testifying, as it is.

I recieved an awesome Amazon order in the mail today. Amoungst it was the Smoosh CD "She Like Electric" (I do!) and a book of photographs by Loretta Lux. Awesomely talented kids making excellent indie rock, and hauntingly beautiful images of creepy children.

Hi, I only like kids when they astound or instill horror. And when they're no where near me in real life.

Anyway, the Lux book will result in cheap art for my walls. I have plans to frame and hang the following images:

Fast and Furious - In a Rapid and Even More Rapid Way

Just so we're clear. 'Cause Paul Walker? Kind of gross.

I made my own PB Loco Jungle Banana style peanut butter this weekend. Here's the easy recipe: 3 teaspoons of imitation banana extract for every cup of peanut butter. The end. I resisted using real bananas because I fear the rancidity. So does the monkey. The verdict? The monkey loves. Although it's a great dupe of the PB Loco stuff, I reckon I'll try to experiment with adding a spice or two next time. Perhaps nutmeg?

I sent a friend of my mom's to the Green Zebra while she was in Chicago last week. Apparently, she too now thinks that they make the BEST FOOD EVER CREATED. That's mad-awesome in my books.

I have been watching so much TV, I can't even tell you. And it's just going to get crazier. Today? Today is a day that I've been waiting for all summer. The return of Starting Over! The return of Arrested Development! Holy crap.

Right. Enough for now. The end.

Friday, September 16, 2005

I Was Defeated by the Seasonal Change

Especially since it ganged up with the weather in a plot against me. I haven't been this tired in ages. Ages, I say, and there's no real reason for it, except that it's turned into jacket weather in the mornings, and today was all grey and rainy and gross.

I woke up, hit the gym, hard, and went into work this morning, where, all of a sudden, I seemed to hit a wall. I had every intention of going to Monkey Yoga after work, and had packed my Monkey bags with my Monkey Yoga clothes, and tried to wear a Monkey attitude. By the end of the day, I quitely put my bag into my car's trunk and drove home.


And now I yawn.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Rockstar: THE TOUR. Hot Damn.

Suzie will have some kind of singing career. In a soft rock band. And that's okay for her, I think. It was the right time for her to be kicked off. PS: I am in love with the cut away shot to a depressed Dave Navarro. I am secretly thinking that he had plans to tap that ass if she won.

Mig dissappointed me with his performance. It seemed like he put more concentration into pogo-ing then singing. I still think INXS will choose him, though, following their comment about how amazing they thought his performance was.

JD pulled it out tonight. He impressed me. And I'm a big enough woman to admit that.

Who's going to see ROCKSTAR: THE TOUR with me?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Post Where I Admit JD Put On a Good Show

I hate to say it, but last night JD was the only contestant who came at all close to being the kind of frontperson who could lead the kind of band that INXS is under the impression that is still is. He sounded pretty good, and, dammit, if he was the only one who actually sounded like he was performing at a rockshow instead of singing a song for show and tell with his in-between song banter. But, dude, what the hell was up with the prop cash at the end of "Money"?

Suzie proved, again, that she's not a rock singer. A weak pop-blues singer, yes. Rock? Not so much. I also had to laugh about how she went on and on about being a woman not being an issue, and yet wore a distinctly masculine pant and suit vest when performing.

I figured Marty out last night. Marty can come alive onstage - but only when he's singing his own songs. He looks like a freaking robot, going through the motions, when he sings songs that other people have written. Plus, his vocal range seems to lessen with every performance. This does not bode well for his chances with INXS, but, I think, he'll be voted most likely to turn this show into a viable carreer when all is said and done.

Mig, Mig, what the hell? I think this week was your weakest performance(s) since the show began. Instead of looking like a singer fronting a band, you came across like a actor playing the part of a singer. I thought we had gotten past all this musical theatre crap.

Dear Dave Navarro: you are a very talented guitar player. I like that you don't get guitar-face when you play. I hate that you're a fucking showboat. Tell me, when are you going to announce that you have a solo CD coming out? The show only has another week in it's run, mister.

Memo to Brooke Burke: I think your stylists are having an awesome time with the fact that you seem to believe them when they tell you that you look hot AND professional in those outfits, and not at all like a groupie willing to sex it up with freaking roadies.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Behavioral Interview

On Rockstar: INXS, that is.

Sidenote: How the hell do you sub-title a titled work with a freaking colon in it? Seriously, how silly does Rockstar: INXS - The Behavioural Interview look? It makes me feel like I should just be using punctuation marks and no words at all anymore.


Right, on with the breakdown.

Erm, not much happened? JD's mom and sister showed up as his prize for winning the encore. JD then waxed poetic over his hard, hard childhood. And I snorted.

INXS then held one-on-one interviews with each contestant, and asked them the hard questions. Except the questions? They were couched in the nicest terms imaginable. Anyway, here's a list of the bands' Yays and Boos for each quote rocker unquote.

YAY: he's the "dangerous" one, hence, shades of Michael. Pale, pale, almost invisible shades of Michael, but whatever.
BOO: he's a fake-ass asshat.
NOTE: They've asked JD to perform his co-written number, "Pretty Vegas", on tonight's show. JD might be an ass, but he really knows how to play these old men. "My ORIGINAL song will be the one that INXS asked us to write lyrics to! How can they not love it?" Answer: They can't. Not love it, I mean. Because IT'S THEIR SONG ALREADY.

YAY: energy and drive
BOO: too opinionated
NOTE: INXS has also asked Marty to perform his original song. Which is good and bad. Good because it was a total modern-rock radio song. Bad because I think INXS will use the fact that the style of the song doesn't fit with their band to boot him off instead of JD this week.

YAY: He can perform like a motherfucker. And he's lovely.
BOO: Musical theatre. Does anything else need to be said about that?
NOTE: INXS didn't ask Mig to play his original song this week. Poor Mig. If you needed to know, again, that the band thought your song sucked it, there you go.

YAY: Strong voice that sounds great when singing the INXS back catalogue
BOO: Because she's a woman, she must be an emotional mess
NOTE: I can't remember what song they asked Suzie to sing. Whoops? I put it down to the rage that accompanied their comments about her emotional reaction to the questions they asked her. Dude, people get nervous in an interview. Would you rather recieve pat, fake answers, or see someone expressing what they really feel?

INXS, the band? Yeah, they pretty much stink. I do, however, appreciate that they're pretending to not know who they're going to pick, and are doing much to contribute to the tension in the house. Also, I love that they're keeping up the rock-stars-must-wear-sunglasses-indoors uniform alive.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Online Shopping? No! Birthday in my Mailbox!

It really is, you know. Which is why, I reckon, I love it so.

I recieved perfume samples that I had ordered last week today, and I've spent a good part of the evening trying them on, letting them move through their scent levels and interact with my skin, and washing them on to try another sample.

Samples! Seriously, how mad-awesome is that? More then I could ever tell you unless you try it yourself. I ordered the samples that I recieved from a place in Hoboken, NJ called The Body Perfumery. In addition to the florals and citrus and woodsy scents that you'd expect from a perfume oil company, they also knock off some well known scents, and, loveliness-lovely, offer baked-goods and candy scented products as well. Chocolate de Belgique? Come to me.

I'm hoping that my raw food cookbooks, Raw Food / Real World (Kenny / Melngailis / Karetnick) and Raw (Charlie Trotter). The thought of raw food cooking is currently obsessing me. Why? Dunno. But I can't wait for these suckers to be mine.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Pickled Beets Bring out the Pirate in Me

I spent most of today helping my mom prepare and can what will become pickled beets. A bushel full. And goddamn if it hasn't given me a new found respect for anyone how does any kind of preservation projects on a regular basis.

I was swearing and threatening the beets at the end of the day. Swearing and threatening like a pirate.

It's been a busy weekend. Last night I went to a party at my old boss' place. Except, it was a bunch of people sitting on a patio with the music turned too low, and screaming, running toddlers. Why this was called a "party", I do not know. I tried to stick it out, but after an hour and a half, I had to jet.

I also picked up a raw food cookbook! That is mad-exciting to me. So much so that I ordered two more. Very soon, I shall have a raw food dinner party. Who wants to come?

Friday, September 09, 2005

Today is a Day Where I Acquire Things

Hey, did I tell you about the time that I bought a painting? Well, wee monkeys, it arrived today! It is even lovelier in person. I heart it. I heart it completely.

I also broke down this afternoon and picked up a DVR (think Tivo, but cable-company specific) this afternoon. I am having too much fun pausing live TV and recording things to a hard drive.

Oh, man.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Please Get Me This Shirt. Rire!

See You, Jordis!

Give 'Em the Boot Recap:

Recap of the recap. Bah. I have watched your episodes, Rockstar: INXS, and I have seen what you are showing me already. Please don't try to trick me into thinking that I inadvertantly stepped into a time machine and it's Monday then Tuesday night. Because it's Wednesday, dammit, and I want to see who gets the boot!

But first, the encore. JD and his silly abs won the hearts of the voting public (wait until he hears that he's still in the bottom three!). But wait! What's this? INXS wants to open for JD, and, mymy, they want to perform a new song!

I swear, this is the most contrived piece of television that I have ever witnessed.

"Hey, INXS, why don't you open for JD?"
"Hey, Rockers, why don't you sing with INXS?"
"Hey, Dave, why don't you join us on stage?"

The song is a stinker. And the performance? And old person's American Idol.

On to JD's encore performance: Has anyone mentioned the hilarity of the megaphone yet? Scott Weiland wants his schtick back. And that includes the ab bearing dress shirts.

Jordis is the first of the bottom three called on stage. She sings. And while watching, I come to the conclusion that when not singing a ballad, Jordis has the stage presense of a 10th grade girl standing by the school gym wall in the middle of a dance, waiting for a boy that will never ask her out onto the floor, trying to look like she doesn't care.

She doesn't want to be INXS' singer any more.

I don't blame her.

I think Garry Gary was not at all impressed.

Suzie is the next up. INXS loves Suzie. Evidence: they give her a song that they know she can give a killer performance of. Never Tear Us Apart is so suited for her voice, it's not even funny. Freaking teachers pet, she is.

And, what's this? JD in the bottom three? Hot damn. Except he kind of sounds okay this time around. But he still makes me dislike my previously held favourite INXS song, Mystify, with the fire of a thousand suns. I hate JD's stupid seizure dancing and skipping, and hand clapping to the mic.

But, in the end, it's Jordis' lack of desire that gets the better of her. The band kicks her off, but Dave vows that one day, he and she will make the most beeee-a-uuuuutilful music together.

I have a suspicion that "music" means the sex.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Is This a Dear John Letter?

Well, not really, but there's something that I feel I must confess. Rockstar: INXS (you and your crazy colon), you are beginning to bore the crap out of me.

Why? Why do you do this? Why have all of your competitors turned into bland, generic, cardboard cutouts of their former selves? I understand that they're attempting to become the singer that INXS would pick, but seriously? I don't think they would pick ANY of you silly little children based on last night's "sets" (heh).

Making up the breakdown

JD: Usually you seem to be able to handle the whole troublesome singing while moving your body. Last night? So not the case. In fact, you were painful to my ears. Your lower register is non-existant, and your stage presence is naught but a bad, bad Elvis impersonation. It pains me that the stations up here insist on using you, and only you, in their commercials for the show. Stinky man, I don't know how else to say this: (colon) You stink.

Suzie: Lady, you surprised me last night. As the icky old men from Our Band: INXS stated, you have a lovely, powerful voice. One, when paired with the type of songs that you write and excel at performing, simply proves that you would really falter and fail as the band's frontwoman. Sorry about that.

Mig: Oh, Mig, what are you up to? Smart with the sit down at the keyboard and ballad it up after a kinetic performance, but mister, YOU CAN'T WRITE A SONG TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. Thing is, I don't reckon that'll be too detrimental to your eventual evolution into the band's singer, 'cause, let's face it, the Farrises did most of the writing anyway.

Jordis: Why are you so boring? What happened to you? You're having second and third and fourth thoughts, aren't you? Get out while you can still salvage something from this 15 minutes.

Marty: You have three notes. That isn't enough, kiddo.

INXS: I told you already, air instrumentation? For drunk frat boy idiots. Stop it, already.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

It's a Celebration, Bitches

Oh, Chicago, how I love you. And Lisa, Matt, and Otis and Eddie? I love you even more.

I don't even know where to start. I really don't. It's awesome hanging out with people who have the exact same interests as you? Indeed, it is. I loved that I could go to the gym first thing in the morning and not have people look askance at me for working out while on vacation. I love that I had an amazing walking about and shopping partner. I love that I had amazing dinner (and lunch) companions. I love that I saw episodes of Paradise Hotel. And, oh, the food.

Why do I always have such fine while I'm visiting you, Chicago?


  • I won the Mexican food eating competition that ensued directly after my arrival on Friday. Take THAT, burrito that was almost, but not quite, as big as my head. And hello, Burritos as Big As Your Head. I am not fool enough to think that I could challenge you to a duel.
  • Splits McGee at Lisa's gym is the president of my fanclub. Who knew that the bendy monkey-ness would inspire such admiration in others?
  • Even with all of the eating, and there was a lot of eating, let me tell you, I still managed to misplace a pound. Goddamn.
  • Anthropologie, you disappointed me with your calf-length skirts. A Boo to you, kind sir.
Shall we talk about food for a bit? Because it was amazing. Burritos and falafels and Thai, oh my. And a truly amazing meal at The Green Zebra. I may have stolen a menu. If by steal, I mean Lisa asked the server to give one to me.

The dinner: shared between the three of us
The food:
  • Melon Cucumber warm soup-y type thing Amuse
  • Heirloom Tomato Salad
  • Casa Verde Heirloom Tomato Soup with Marjoram-Parmesan Palmier
  • Warm Blue Cheese Cake, plum wine-grape reduction, hazelnut Tuile
  • Prospera Farm Baby Carrots, Carrot Cake, Black Truffles, and Aged Balsamic Vinegar
  • Crispy Sweet Potato Dumplings, Fresh Water Chesnuts and Dandelion Miso Broth
  • Gnocci, Morel Mushroom Gallette, Braised Heart of Palm, Pohas, Sweet Corn
  • Grilled Wild Mushrooms, Silky White Corn Polenta and Herb Emulsion
  • Shoal Creek Farm Chicken Breast, Roasted New Potatoes, Crisp Skin and Wild Honey
  • Chocolate Brownie Cake, with Chocolate Ganache, Basil Mousse, and Strawberries
  • Tastings of ice creams: Chocolate Banana, Lavendar, Strawberry, Mint Chocolate Chip
  • Fig Galette
My main dishes consisted of the Heirloom Tomato Salad, Baby Carrots, Grilled Wild Mushrooms and the Ice Cream. With tastes of everything else excepting the Chicken dish (Hi, I'm a vegetarian? Okay then). I had black truffles for the first time ever, and I now understand the why behind everything said about them.

I will be dreaming of that meal for a long, long time.

Rockstar: INXS recaplet: JD made love to the camera and in a fit of drunkeness, Suzie drank champagne poured off of his foot. That is all.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Oh, Labour Day

I'm off to Chicago for the weekend, kids. Shopping and eating and gyming, oh my!

See you next week!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Rockstar: INXS v. R U The Girl

Rockstar: INXS

  • Singer, Michael Hutchence. Accidental death. Cause: Rumoured Erotic asphyxiation
  • Band soldiers on with a series of singers, playing through their back catalogue
  • Show is hosted by Brooke Burke, with Howard Cossel-esque commentating by Dave Navarro (ex-Jane's Addiction, ex-Red Hot Chili Peppers, current Carmen Electra boy-toy)
  • Format: 3 shows a week. Monday - 1/2 hour recap of behind the scenes, day-to-day competitors in the Rockstar: INXS mansion; Tuesday - hour long "live" performance competition, of which the outcome is based upon viewer votes; Wednesday - hour long elimination show, wherein the three competitors who received the fewest votes sing an INXS song, and the band decides which one gets the boot.
  • Prize: Winner becomes the new front-person of INXS. Records full record. Embarks on world tour.
  • Advantage: consistent performance pieces, ego-driven drama, voter component, three episode per week format instills feeling of familiarity in audience
R U The Girl
  • Singer: Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez. Accidental death. Cause: Car crash
  • Band continues on as a two piece, recording new material
  • Show is "reality based". Hostless.
  • Format: 1 show a week. During that hour, T-Boz and Chili drive their SUV. Chili eats a lot of greasy food while T-Boz watches. TLC challenges the competitors to one up each other through vocal and dance performances, as well as things that a band member would never do, like costuming, and creating album art. They also encourage the competitors to talk shit about each other, and crow about the short-fallings of each one behind their backs. Also, they continually talk about how cutting edge and unique they are, and seem to believe it.
  • Prize: Winner records single with TLC. Appears to perform that song on a internationally televised special.
  • Advantage: Chili and T-Boz are hilariously catty and controlling, and they bring in equally hilarious guest stars, like freaking New Edition. Also, they have no intention on making the winner a permanent member of their group. Which rules.

Two Shows Enter, One Show Leaves

In a cage match, who would win? Rockstar: INXS, no doubt. However, R U The Girl? would get in a few sneaky below the belt punches before being knock on its ass.

Rockstar: INXS is Racist?

Well, according to Ty it is. But more on that later.

First things first - Why is the kick someone off show an hour now? Too long!

I can't believe I just said that.

But really, recapping the recap of the night before? Two competitors doing encores? What happens when they're down to three contestants? I fear that there will be much broadcasting of the kids sitting around the pool, picking toe jam and talking about their hair.

Marty's "opening" encore was pretty similar to last night's, and Suzie's winning performance seems to be going along the same lines. PS: Suzie seems to be getting more personable and adorable every show. I think I may be going mental.

Following the encores, footage recorded in the mansion after the performance episode is aired. Poor, poor JD is mad and confronts Suzie for talking about how he was an asshat in the studio. He then accuses Suzie of not being his friend, because, apparently, CANADIANS MUST STICK TOGETHER. What?

Meanwhile, the rest of the competitors are being stupid and passive-aggressive, talking about how much JD sucks behind his back. Why aren't they doing this to his face? Ahhh, but they will, once the cameras swing to them on the mini-stage, huddled together like urchins, waiting to hear who the voting public has decided stunk up the joint the night before.

And so it happens - Marty and Ty speak against the assholery coming out of JD's corner in front of the band. Thanks to the band, and their new labour force moderator, Dave Navarro, for making them address it onstage. And thanks to JD for making faces at everyone as they talked about what happened, and for keeping it real. REAL ASSY.

Oh, JD, it's just you against the world, isn't it?

When Brooke starts to announce the safe competitors, it comes as no surprise that Mig and Suzie are the top two vote getters. This is excellent, however I really do want to hear Mig's take on INXS.

JD is then named as the first member of the bottom three. He is asked to sing "This Time", and appears far too excited to do so. Especially when you see just how bad his performance is. JD is off-beat during the first verse, and flat during the chorus. He's also struggles with the low, breathy lines. Dear SUPERFAN: you sure did lame it up out there.

I start to hope that the show's producers don't make Our Band, INXS keep him on for television-drama sake, but I know, in my heart, that they will, and he'll stay to stink it up one more time. Even though Kirk, the Dali-mustachioed freakshow, asks JD how he thinks he did. Damn, I love it when the band asks the contestant how they think they did. Because you know that they though it was stinkity-stank.

Ty is the second contestant to be named to the bottom three. Again. Not surprising, I think. He's the show's one trick pony, a thing he seems to acknowledge with his "I do what I do, and I do it well!" speech. He sings "The One Thing". Vocally, it's surprisingly, unpleasantly raspy. He still works the stage though, but I doubt it's enough to save him

An aside: I am loving the deeper catalogue choices. I am hoping that "Kiss the Dirt" will make an appearance one of these days.

Jordis is the final competitor to sing an INXS song last night. She is given "Listen Like thieves" and I shudder because of my love for that song. I may have yelled at the television, "Jordis, don't you dare murder "Listen Like thieves"!" I am then put in my place, because, though underwhelming, she didn't. And, what was that I saw? Strutting? And dancing? And looking uncomfortable while doing it, but still, that's a little something different to watch. From Jordis, I mean.

Ty finally gets the boot, and then proceeds to accuse the voters of being racist. "Wha, wha, I'm a baby!". Jesus Fuck. And I thought JD was an egomaniac.

Tune in later today for the Rockstar v. R U The Girl cage match.