Thursday, September 01, 2005

Rockstar: INXS v. R U The Girl

Rockstar: INXS

  • Singer, Michael Hutchence. Accidental death. Cause: Rumoured Erotic asphyxiation
  • Band soldiers on with a series of singers, playing through their back catalogue
  • Show is hosted by Brooke Burke, with Howard Cossel-esque commentating by Dave Navarro (ex-Jane's Addiction, ex-Red Hot Chili Peppers, current Carmen Electra boy-toy)
  • Format: 3 shows a week. Monday - 1/2 hour recap of behind the scenes, day-to-day competitors in the Rockstar: INXS mansion; Tuesday - hour long "live" performance competition, of which the outcome is based upon viewer votes; Wednesday - hour long elimination show, wherein the three competitors who received the fewest votes sing an INXS song, and the band decides which one gets the boot.
  • Prize: Winner becomes the new front-person of INXS. Records full record. Embarks on world tour.
  • Advantage: consistent performance pieces, ego-driven drama, voter component, three episode per week format instills feeling of familiarity in audience
R U The Girl
  • Singer: Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez. Accidental death. Cause: Car crash
  • Band continues on as a two piece, recording new material
  • Show is "reality based". Hostless.
  • Format: 1 show a week. During that hour, T-Boz and Chili drive their SUV. Chili eats a lot of greasy food while T-Boz watches. TLC challenges the competitors to one up each other through vocal and dance performances, as well as things that a band member would never do, like costuming, and creating album art. They also encourage the competitors to talk shit about each other, and crow about the short-fallings of each one behind their backs. Also, they continually talk about how cutting edge and unique they are, and seem to believe it.
  • Prize: Winner records single with TLC. Appears to perform that song on a internationally televised special.
  • Advantage: Chili and T-Boz are hilariously catty and controlling, and they bring in equally hilarious guest stars, like freaking New Edition. Also, they have no intention on making the winner a permanent member of their group. Which rules.

Two Shows Enter, One Show Leaves

In a cage match, who would win? Rockstar: INXS, no doubt. However, R U The Girl? would get in a few sneaky below the belt punches before being knock on its ass.

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