Thursday, September 01, 2005

Rockstar: INXS is Racist?

Well, according to Ty it is. But more on that later.

First things first - Why is the kick someone off show an hour now? Too long!

I can't believe I just said that.

But really, recapping the recap of the night before? Two competitors doing encores? What happens when they're down to three contestants? I fear that there will be much broadcasting of the kids sitting around the pool, picking toe jam and talking about their hair.

Marty's "opening" encore was pretty similar to last night's, and Suzie's winning performance seems to be going along the same lines. PS: Suzie seems to be getting more personable and adorable every show. I think I may be going mental.

Following the encores, footage recorded in the mansion after the performance episode is aired. Poor, poor JD is mad and confronts Suzie for talking about how he was an asshat in the studio. He then accuses Suzie of not being his friend, because, apparently, CANADIANS MUST STICK TOGETHER. What?

Meanwhile, the rest of the competitors are being stupid and passive-aggressive, talking about how much JD sucks behind his back. Why aren't they doing this to his face? Ahhh, but they will, once the cameras swing to them on the mini-stage, huddled together like urchins, waiting to hear who the voting public has decided stunk up the joint the night before.

And so it happens - Marty and Ty speak against the assholery coming out of JD's corner in front of the band. Thanks to the band, and their new labour force moderator, Dave Navarro, for making them address it onstage. And thanks to JD for making faces at everyone as they talked about what happened, and for keeping it real. REAL ASSY.

Oh, JD, it's just you against the world, isn't it?

When Brooke starts to announce the safe competitors, it comes as no surprise that Mig and Suzie are the top two vote getters. This is excellent, however I really do want to hear Mig's take on INXS.

JD is then named as the first member of the bottom three. He is asked to sing "This Time", and appears far too excited to do so. Especially when you see just how bad his performance is. JD is off-beat during the first verse, and flat during the chorus. He's also struggles with the low, breathy lines. Dear SUPERFAN: you sure did lame it up out there.

I start to hope that the show's producers don't make Our Band, INXS keep him on for television-drama sake, but I know, in my heart, that they will, and he'll stay to stink it up one more time. Even though Kirk, the Dali-mustachioed freakshow, asks JD how he thinks he did. Damn, I love it when the band asks the contestant how they think they did. Because you know that they though it was stinkity-stank.

Ty is the second contestant to be named to the bottom three. Again. Not surprising, I think. He's the show's one trick pony, a thing he seems to acknowledge with his "I do what I do, and I do it well!" speech. He sings "The One Thing". Vocally, it's surprisingly, unpleasantly raspy. He still works the stage though, but I doubt it's enough to save him

An aside: I am loving the deeper catalogue choices. I am hoping that "Kiss the Dirt" will make an appearance one of these days.

Jordis is the final competitor to sing an INXS song last night. She is given "Listen Like thieves" and I shudder because of my love for that song. I may have yelled at the television, "Jordis, don't you dare murder "Listen Like thieves"!" I am then put in my place, because, though underwhelming, she didn't. And, what was that I saw? Strutting? And dancing? And looking uncomfortable while doing it, but still, that's a little something different to watch. From Jordis, I mean.

Ty finally gets the boot, and then proceeds to accuse the voters of being racist. "Wha, wha, I'm a baby!". Jesus Fuck. And I thought JD was an egomaniac.

Tune in later today for the Rockstar v. R U The Girl cage match.

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