Wednesday, August 17, 2005

See No Evil

Except I did, and it was wonderful. All in the format of Rockstar: INXS.

I now give you performance notes:

Mig, you little monkey, I adore you.

I was startled and confused by Deanna's outfit. Tits popping out in the front, ass that looked like tits sliding out of the back. What? I just don’t understand!

Suzie, you are neither Gwen Stephani, Madonna or Christina Aguilera. Please give the 50's pincurl back its proper owner.

JD, do you really think that because you're the most all around talented musician that the band is going to forget that you're an asshat? They know that they're going to have to actually spend time with the winner. And who in their right mind would want to do that with you? No one, that's who. Also, wearing that ugly hat (was that a tribute to Brandon?) on your head only serves to remind: ASS HAT.

Ty's plaid pants and tamborine slinging…I don't even know where to begin. Tamborines can only be held by men who exude raw, animalistic sex appeal, or else they just look funny. Guess what? Ty has all the sexual magnatism of a prepubescent girl who's afraid of her own body. Gahhhh.

Marty's take on Hit Me Baby, One More Time was kitschy, but, at the same time, sadly disappointing. I ascribe this to his seemingly inability to move while singing.

Mig, Mig, I will be shocked if you don't win this thing.


joolz said...

I love this recap more than monkeys, maybe even. Fantastic. Well played!

Melissa said...

I am basking in the love.

You know, the only way I think Rockstar: INXS could get any better would be if all of the contestants were replaced by monkeys. Is that wrong?