Wednesday, August 10, 2005

The Peanut Butter Diaries: Part Two of Three

I delay gratification for the monkey again this morning. Waiting makes it better! It does, little monkey. You must trust me.

The Sumatra Cinnamon and Raisan Peanut Butter Ratings (out of 5)

Expectation: 4
Fear: 2
Post-spooful Satisfaction: 4

Ohhhh, cinnamon. Cinnamon? I love you. I love you on my raw apples. I love you in my coffee. And baby, I love you in my peanut butter. The only thing detracting you from a perfect satisfaction rating is something, I truly believe, that is completely out of control. While being shuttled over to my longing paws, I do believe you, while resting on your side, were exposed to a wee too much heat, causing all of your possible raisany goodness to migrate on down to its own little segregated area in your jar. So the raisans. Clumped together and a little less moist then they should be, and since the jar was completely full, stirring those suckers back into the peanut butter was a little impossible. I am sure, however, that now my belly has made room for stirring, and my spoon weilding hand has actually done so, that you will be even better then next time we meet.

Rockstar: INXS highlights - Performance episode

. Mig and Ty continue to be the only competitors who don't look, act or sound like they're fronting a coverband specializing in the hits of the 70s, 80s and 90s (inties-inties-inties, echos the radio vioce)

. JD continues to ass it up! Joolz, lady, you need help to battle this attraction. Help, I say!

. My favourite part of the entire show, however, had everything to do with Brandon, who is a spastic, self important moron. Did you see him fling his ugly hat into the audience? Like someone would want to take it home as a souvenir? And then did you witness how it materialized back on top of his head at the end of the show? EXCELLENT.

Oh, I almost forgot! I no longer have monkey toes! Okay, I do, but they're looking so much prettier then their calloused past existence. I got over my fear of people manhandling my feet and recieved my first pedicure yesterday. And now I want to give over responsibility of the beauty of my feet to someone else completely, from here on in, forever and ever, the end.


Kaytee said...
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Melissa said...

I delete comments that spam other sites. Just so you all know.