Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Schmaltzstar: INXS

The Performance Episode

Last night really was Ty's night. His co-written song (PS: his interview footage, where he quietly and quickly tacked on 'co-written with Deanna' freaking RULED) and his performance were mad-solid. Note: that doesn't mean "good", but really, does good come into account on this show?

Suzie - innocuous and boring. Same old, same old. That is, until the sing-a-long with the rest of the competitors and the stage dive. The fuck? Oh, Suzie, you pandering harlot. You're so going to be in the bottom three tonight.

JD - I've said it elsewhere and I'll say it again. He may be the asshat, but he's the asshat who knows how to work this contest during the competition episodes. I am wondering, however, if the Elvis estate will be suing him for lifting the King's stage antics.

Deanna - Oh, Seizure Girl, how much you need to leave this show tonight, I can't even tell you. I am happy, however, that you are very skilled at make-up application. Perhaps you can do something with that when you go back to your real life. Your "co-written" song (ha! And also, ahem) was familiar in not a good way. Ty, I know you stole the intro and bridge from some random heavy rock songs - I will find you out and expose you!

Ty - Better then last week, indeed. Why, however, do the other contestants agree to this whole backing vocal thing? Hi, let's let the band see us as only backing singers! What an excellent strategy.

Mig - trite lyrics (castles in the sky?) paired with trousers that featured a LOOK AT MY CROTCH applique. And yet, his performance made it work. I still think the little monkey is going to win this thing.

Marty - Seriously, the man has no range. He won't be able to handle INXS songs. That is all.

Jordis - The Golden Child screws up, mad and largely. But I liked what she was wearing?

Note to INXS and Navarro: air-instrumentation is the most annoying thing a man can do when there is music playing. I'm just saying.

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