A Scary Movie Post for a Scary Movie Day

I hereby nominate Night of the Lepus for best bad scary movie ever.






















"How many eyes does horror have? How many times will terror strike?"

Indeed. INDEED!

Baby, it has it all. And all-star cast! If by all-star, I mean Deforest Kelly and and Janet Leigh. A killer tag line! GIANT MUTANT KILLER RABBITS.

Oh, bad horror movies, look what joy you have unleashed on the world with this movie. Look, I say! Look, and rejoice, dammit.

Stop the Presses!

I am full of drama and news today. The latest? My Susur two volume history / cookbook has arrived! And it is beautiful.

The recipe section is fairly meat-centric, but the vegetarian recipes that are in there? Totally make the purchase worthwhile. The Singapore Slaw that I had at Lee's, his more casual restuarant located beside Susur? The one that I might have composed sonnets about? It's. In. There.

That is all.

Breaking News

The Colbert Report will begin airing in Canada NEXT MONDAY. Right after the Daily Show on both CTV and the Comedy Network.

Don't you love how my breaking news is about a fake news show?

Excellent.

Here's a story, if you don't believe my ass about this:

Colbert Report Comes North - The Toronto Star

People Like Doing Things That They Do Well

It's a fact. And also, 30 Helens agree.

After over a month of avoiding hot yoga (monkey yoga!) due to not digging the teaching style of the instructor that's been teaching the only session that I could work into my schedule, I headed back yesterday to try out a session with a new instructor. And, goddamit, she ruled.

I kind of love the yoga because I'm preternaturally flexible. It also works all kinds of stress out of my body and lets my head get all quiet inside for a good 90 minutes. And I've been sad and stressed with missing weeks of classes, but, quite seriously, for me, a worthwhile class means an instructor that corrects your positioning, pushes you to your limits in a pose, and mixes in new postures amoungst the traditional parts of the session. And damn if that didn't happen yesterday. I'm hoping that she'll take over the session for good, or at least teach it on a regular basis.

On the flipside of liking things that we do well, I may have cried at work this week because a client isn't allowing me to do my work well. I like my work. I'm good at it. And it is just so frustrating and infuriating (and, apparently, tear inducing due to the frustration and fury) when they demand that you do things that you patently know is horrid and wrong. I am happy to say, however, that the tears didn't start until I was outside of the building, on my way to the car, and outside of the view of, oh, anyone at all. I hate crying in public because I'm a seriously ugly crier. The snot and the red eyes and the flushed skin? Yes, indeed.

But the yoga? It helped me sweep all the anger away, and get back to my monkey-loving stupidity. As usual.

The end.

A Shout Out to Canadian Jewellery Designers

Affordable Canadian jewellery designers, that is. Hello. I love you.

I bring this up because, in a stroke of genius, Flare Magazine is offering a necklace by Foxy Originals as a gift with subscription. Which made me subscribe, 'cause, goddamn, I really like Foxy necklaces, and I read the magazine anyway? And baby, I gots me a new necklace in the mail today!

Foxy Originals has some really lovely, chunky and large enamel pieces, and some beautful metal-worked pieces as well. Here are a couple of necklaces that I claim as mine.

The pink one in the middle:









And the gold one:












A SoulFlower pendent was my first grown-up looking jewellery purchase. They are truely my favourite source for pendants. Finding examples of their work online, however? Not an easy task. Especially as their site is Flash-based. Which is a much bigger irk-issue that I have with retail websites to be discussed another date. But I digress.

SoulFlower uses materials like silver, wood, shell and tile. Their shell mosaic works make me salivate. Indeed, they do.

It Blows on a Nail and the Nail Goes in the Tree

Home Movies ranks amoungst my favourite animated shows ever. Ever, I say! I love the fact that my morning pre-work routine includes a viewing of an episode before jumping in the shower. Somehow, it makes my day start on a crazy, silly, excellent note.



















***

My new favourite thing comes via an email from a lovely co-worker. It has lead me to ask, "Why, of all people, do I not have a Trunk Monkey?"

***

Confidential to Olives: I can see you clicking on the link that's been posted on the board as the way you guys are getting here via the metric software on my blog. If you're going to continue reading, why don't you at least say hi?

Susur! Cookbook! Hot. Damn.

Seriously now. SERIOUSLY. I am so very excited about this news. One of my top two meals ever occured at Susur Lee's restuarant Susur. On the evening of my 31st birthday, my friend Brad and I dined on a meal that I still get a little choked up about. 5 course vegetarian tasting menu? Yes, please.

This month, Susur Lee fufilled one of my cookbook dreams, and released Susur: A Culinary Life. It's a two volume set, the first of which details Susur's life as a chef, with the second being packed full of 90 recipes and pictures of his creations.



















I ordered a copy today. I can't wait for it to arrive. And even though reviewers have said that the recipes are a challenge, I so very much look forward to taking a crack at the vegetarian items within.

Oh, the excitement! I seriously flapped my arms like a goon when I found out about the book this morning. A goon!

I then emailed the Green Zebra in Chicago to urge their chef to publish a cookbook as well. As the place where my other top two meals occurred, I feel that if they could deliver such a thing, my epicurious DIY life would be complete.

DVR Glee

Glee, I said. GLEE. This morning, my cable company final pushed out a download that turns on my unit's second reciever. I can now watch one program while recording another to the DVRs hard drive. I think this will do crazy things to my TV watching productivity rate.

What, like you didn't think I had a TV watching productivity rate? Please. Get real here, people.

Issues that I have with my cable company, however:

• They provide no notice when things like this will take place. Customer service and communication are not their strong suits.
• I was watching the news (read: The Daily Show morning rerun) while getting ready for work. The surprise push-download required that the unit turn itself off, and not reactivate until the download was complete. I now feel off-schedule and off-balance, as my pre-leave-the-house routine always involves The Daily Show

Small Things Can Make You Feel Good

Today is Not a Fun Day

And, let's face it, neither was yesterday. I am work-tired. Or, more accurately, work-frustrated. Or, even more truthfully, furious at the departments that my team has to work with. Sometimes, working at a company that fosters inter-departmental competition and one-upmanship (well, that doesn't exist in my department, but it's something that we have to deal with on a regular basis) can really hit that part of my brain that makes me hate.

I don't like hating. In fact, I hate it. Har.

It makes the rest of life not fun, you know?

This post is a bummer. There's no fixing that.

I am hopeful that tomorrow will be better. I am always hopeful.

One excellent thing: Rick Springfield will be guest starring on General Hospital starting December 2nd. See, there usually is a good thing down the road, baby.

Scents are Amazing Things

Seriously, they are. There are certain aromas that make me so damn happy, I can't even tell you. I bring this up because I was at my parents' place earlier this evening. They live in a neighbourhood where every house has built with a wood burning, built in fireplace. One of their neighbours was happily at it, burning the most amazing smelling wood. And, with one wiff, all of a sudden it was FALL. And it was awesome.

But everyone loves the smell of a good fire. So I've decided to start a list of scents that I adore that may seem odd.

. Barn
. Toast, just before it starts to burn
. Windex

More to come as I think of them.

Monkey Socks have Butts!

It's true. And, thankfully, they (both the butts and non-butts) have sweet dispositions, and have made friends with mini sock monkey and the naked pirate, as evidenced in the comfy TV watching pile-up below.
















Talking about TV, holy crap do I have a shitload to get through. STARTING OVER! Holy crap. I just sat through this weeks episodes and I don't think I've ever seen better TV ever.

EVER.

Okay then.

Rainy. In the Fall. In Boston.

I don't often write about my job, because, for some reason, I feel that's private. As opposed to all of the weird-ass things I have running about my head that I empty here, day after day, in a manner that probably leads some of you to believe that that girl? Not quite right in the head.

Anyway, I'm in Boston this week for a conference. I'm learning a hell of a lot, and am still managing to have fun. I would like to say, however, as learning point for presenters, just a couple of things:

• If your presentation entails me, watching you, watching your co-presenter use software, and the presentation isn't actually about that software, you are making a bad, bad presentation.
  
• Pockets are for small things. Although you might be able to fit a Zach Morris-esque cell phone into your pockets, it doesn't mean you should.

I went out with my friend Lori last night. She is hilarious and lovely, and I am so glad we had the time to meet up. Also? She gave me monkey socks. And lip glosses that taste and smell like ice cream and coffee. WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?

Whole Foods sparkling mineral water tastes like ass. How can you mess up mineral water, I ask. It takes a special person to figure that one out.

So far, I have successfully stayed away from the Sephora in town. Two more days. Two more days. Two more days and I will be safely out of range.

I Am Missing the International Noise Conspiracy!

Because I am at a confernce in Boston, and not back near Toronto. Dammit! And damn you, Toronto weeklies, for not listing them on the show bill, and listing only The Bravery instead. Worst? They're playing Boston. Hours after I leave.

This will be the first INC show in Toronto that I have missed. It is making me sad and angry. Because I love them so. LOVE.

I Feel Like I Need a New Camera

And only because I suffer from tech-lust. It's a sickness, I know, and it makes me want things when I really don't need them.

See, I have a digital camera. Granted, it's a Kodak Easy Share DX3900, bought back in 2001. Granted, it's only 3MP. Granted, it's the size of a shoe. Or a phone. It's the size of a shoe phone. And granted, the rechargable battery life is all kinds of ass. But really, does that justify wanting a new camera?

Here's the Kodak:












Please note sexxxay docking station.

And here's the little lady that I wish were mine:




















Say hello to the Canon Powershot SD30. 5MP! Purple! Red! Descrete docking station! Not to be mistaken for a shoe phone!

I feel like I could be an effective spy with this camera.

I don't know if that's a good thing or not. But I still want. Oh, yes, I do.

A Random Post for a Random Day

Sometimes, when the water from my showerhead hits my showercurtain just right, it sounds like applause. Every time I take a shower, I come out at the end, feeling like I accomplished something wonderful.

Dear BCBG coats located in a post down yonder: you and I, I'm sad to inform you, will never be. Because I might have just made use of my clothing budget for winter to purchase a Mackage coat. But it made me think of you all, it did, with it's turned up collar and ability to fit me like it was made for me right off the rack.

Here's a picture of my new love. Except mine is black. And not pimped out with a bargazillion gold chains.






















I, quite simply, CANNOT WAIT for winter.

PS: Starting Over started for real today. EXCELLENT. Freakshows! Oh, man. I am a little sad that they're milking the events of September 11, but I can forgive the show for giving me TJ the asshole and Jill the diva shoplifter drama.

TOO MUCH GOSSIP. IT HAS PUSHED ME OVER THE EDGE WITH EXCITEMENT

As evidenced by the all caps used in the title of this post.

This morning: Lyndsey Lohan totals her car
Mid-morning: Us Weekly publishes that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey break up
Early afternoon: ETOnline reports that Paris Hilton has taken to wearing crazy costumes, replete with prothestics, to go to churches and her brother's soccer games
Right NOW: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announce they're having a baby

I think I might faint. This is the BEST GOSSIP DAY EVER.

Goddamnit, I Need Me a Robot

Say hello to Roboraptor.












Here is what his people have to say about him:

ROBORAPTOR™
A Fusion of Technology and Personality

Dinosaurs are back and roaming the earth in the 32” long Roboraptor, an advanced fusion of technology and personality. With his advanced artificial intelligence personality, realistic biomorphic motions, direct control and autonomous (free-roam) modes, the Age of Dinosaurs has truly returned. Roboraptor comes to life with the following features:

- Fluid bi-pedal motion: walking, running and predatory gaits
- Realistic body movements: turning head and neck; whipping tail actions
- Three distinct moods: hunter, cautious and playful
- Autonomous environmental interaction: responds with mood specific behaviors and sounds
- Mood dependent behavior: aggressive/hunting mood; nervous/cautious mood; friendly/playful mood
- Multi-sensory: touch sensors in his tail, chin and mouth; sonic sensors
- Infra-red vision system detects objects in his path, or approaching him
- Powerful jaws that play tug-of war games, “bite” and pull
- “Laser” tracking technology: trace a path on the ground and he’ll follow it
- Visual and sonic guard mode
- Responds to commands from Robosapien V2
- Auto shut-off function
- Video game style controller
- Demonstration mode
- 40+ pre-programmed functions
- Battery Requirements: 6 X "AA", 3 X "AAA" (not included)

I feel like he and his battery food source needs to come live with me. But not that Robosapien fool. He's just too subservient and into showing off dance moves for my taste.

I Covet Too Expensive Clothing

Oh, BCBG, I adore you, and you know it. I also love that you have sales, and I will be visiting you at the end of season to try to pick up at least one of these suckers.

This jacket:





























These coats:















































































These shoes:

I am Feeling Like the Weather Has Teenage Boy Disease

Becuase it's all Come Here - Go Away, Come Here - Go Away!

Not that I'm really complaining too much today. Or yesterday. Or, I postulate, tomorrow. I love the fact that I can go bare legged during the first week of October. I just hate that I forget to bring the jackets that I wear first thing in the morning home with me after work because the heat? The heat tells me that I need no jacket! And so I tend to forget that I brought one with me. Last week, I got up to a count of three in the back room where we hang up our stuff. Ha, whoops?

I am heading out to Boston on Sunday for a professional conference, which is lovely and exciting. I adore Boston because I have never had anything but fun there. Plus, Boston in the early autumn? Hot damn with the beauty.

For the first time ever, however, my family will be forgoing celebrating Thanksgiving. Not like it's ever been more then a more elaborate Sunday dinner where my mom makes stuffing outside of the turkey so I can eat it (damn vegetarian! I can hear you say), but it's still a little weird. I'm sure my mom and dad would've been pushing for a celebration on the Saturday, but, showing her true, selfish, ignorant family colours, my cousin decided to get married that day.

Right. Married. In the middle of a long weekend. Is there anything more demanding? "Hey, the last long weekend without snow! Let's make all of our relatives stay close to home and make them come to a wedding! And make it not only on a long weekend, but right in the middle so that they can't really do ANYTHING to take advantage of having three days off!"

Thank God that I have so many cousins that we're never invited to these things. But poor mom and dad and aunts and uncles. But also, haha, I don't have to go. Not like I would've, but still. Ha?

Okay then.

Glaucoma Testing, Midget Faces and DVR Love

I am blind. Well, that's an exaggeration, but seriously, if I don't have some kind of corrective lense in front of my Precious Moment-like eyeballs, I tend to run into things and say "Excuse me" to inanimate objects.

Confession: I say "Excuse me" to inanimate objects even when I'm wearing contacts or glasses. Because I'm polite that way.

Anyway, I had my vision tested this morning, and my slide into darkness continues. -6.5 in each eye! I feel like I should recieve an award for that. Anyway, my optometrist performed a glaucoma test as well, and seriously, I think there is no stranger sensation then having the nerves in your eyeballs deadened by eyedrops. I could feel the insides of my eyelids sliding across them. It was fucking insane, and a little awesome.

The frames for my new glasses? Why, yes, I did get new frames. And, because I have a midget face (it goes with my midget feet, you see), I ended up buying a pair of kids frames. A picture of which I cannot find online, so a photo of me wearing the suckers will have to wait until they're in my possession.

Completely unrelated, but I bring it up because I'm currently watching Vera Drake, which is heartbreaking and amazing and one of the best things I've seen on-film in ages, is my love for my DVR. Kate thinks I have an unnatural relationship with it, and I have a sneaking suspicion that she's right. But, really, how can you not love something that records shows for you while you sleep and have forgotten that you told it to tape?