Thursday, June 15, 2006

CNTM - Episode #3 - In One Day, You Brought Us from heinous Disaster to Alright

Just a short highlight of awesome today - I don't reckon the play-by-play style is getting much love, and it takes a massive amount of time to write (badly).

  • In the previous episode recap at the top of the show, Tricia makes use of the ANTM trademark description "fierce". Hot damn! Or should I say, "fierce"?
  • Returning home, the first thing Andrea does is shave the hair from her arms.
  • In confessional, Sisi talks shit about everyone and vows revenge. Like a prize fighter! Later on, she calls the rest of the girls stupid, fake and lame. Oh, pot. See kettle. You are both black.
  • Judge Stacy, she of the manly smoker voice, teaches the girls how to walk at bowling alley. The look of disgust on her face at what she has to work with is LOVELY. Almost as good as her impression of each girl's individual walks. And that woman? Damn, can she walk on a runway.
  • Andrea starts her first in a series of crying jags when she realizes just how outclassed she is. And seriously, the fact that she can be outclassed by the other competitors? Sad, sad, sad.
  • The runway competition is in the middle of a rugby field. In front of rugby players. Now THAT'S high fashion! Or just low rent.
  • Brandi wins the runway competition. Her prize? The use of a secret bathroom in the house. And a pedicure. Worst. Prize. Ever. But Andrea? Is jealous and runs away to cry. Brandi proceeds to get sloppily, tearily, running nose-ingly drunk, and it's the most amazing drunkfest I've ever seen on television. It was capped off by a teary confessional following a teary phone call to her boyfriend where, talking through her nose and sounding like a five year old (a drunk five year old!) she complains about breaking her IPod by accidentally, drunkenly allowing it to fall in the jacuzzi.
  • The photo shoot is helmed by Philip Bloch, the most annoying celebrity stylist I have ever done seen. But the thing is, his honesty, frustration and disgust with the "models" he has to work with? Made me like him. Made me even overlook the icky, pencil thin signature moustache (signature mustache!) he has cultivated.
  • During judging, Andrea starts crying again. Oh, man.
  • Natalie gets the boot. Which was expected, due to her height (6') and larger, more solid frame, but it makes me a little sad. The editors focused on Natalie this show, and she came across like a very intelligent, level headed woman. Okay, perhaps an intelligent, level headed woman built like Natalie would know that there was no way in hell that she could ever be a high fashion model, but still. I liked her, and she was far more interesting then the vapid women that remain on the show.
  • Next week: A trainer makes the girls exercise, the girls pose in lingerie with male models, and Ylena has to make a moral decision about the shoot.


roro said...

Ha ha - awesome. And that was TOTALLY the worst prize ever! I was going to make a joke about it being the "booby" prize, but this show doesn't deserve my single entendre.

Melissa said...

I snorted at the boob joke. Because I, apparently, am a 12 year old boy. Who is now in possession of a button featuring an alcoholic bear.

Also, random boob runway note: I wonder if any of these girls actually watch runway shows, because, really, they've been zoned by cities worldwide as bare tit areas.