The Peanut Butter Solution

Ever see a wee Canadian film production called The Peanut Butter Solution? I did, when I was young, and it freaked my shit out, making me avoid eating peanut butter for fear of what it would do to my hair. And if you haven't seen it, what I just wrote makes absolutely no sense.

But that's okay, because this should: I made hot damn hand made peanut butter today, and it rules. Grinda-grinda with the peanuts in the food processor, grinda-grinda with the cinnamon sticks to add a little flavour, since I'm not down with salted, sweetened PB, but like a little variety on my taste buds, if you know what I mean.

It's funny, the more I learn how to do things, and make things from scratch, the less I want to rely on manufacturers to make these things for me. Peanut butter? Check. Ice cream? Check. Soap? Check. Just wait for the things that I'm gonna whip out with my new stainless steel mandolin! Okay, there will only be slice vegetables with that sucker, but I'm so excited about it, I had to say SOMETHING.

***

So it's been a few days. I'm pretty boring when left to my own devices. On vacation in my own house. Watching movies. Reading books. Making stuff. That's how it goes.

I did, however, have a really nice holiday weekend. Spent with my immediate family, it was really nice. I made them eat ice cream, and they let me become a bit of a hermit mid-day.

It's an endearing personality trait (at least, that's what I tell myself), my need to spend time alone. My mom tells stories about finding me, day after day, leaving my friends to play by myself in my bedroom closet - the only place where I could go to spend some time with myself.

Sometimes loners are made. But me? I was born with a need for a lot of personal, emotional and mental space. Sometimes I still wish I knew why, but most days, I just deal with it, and am thankful that the people in my life know that when I disappear for a half hour in the middle of a day spent with the family, its just because I need to be alone inside my head.