Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Dear Ryan Reynolds:

Again, why is it that you're not my boyfriend?

I mean, just because I've been telling people that you're my Hollywood Boyfriend (PS: Evan Dando is still my mid-90's Indie Rock Boyfriend, and Ian Thorpe is my Closeted Gay Olympic Boyfriend. I get around) since Two Girls a Guy and a Pizza Place (last parenthesis this post: Nathan Fillion is my TV Boyfriend. I hope that won't make you fight. Or, I do hope that will make you fight. Because that would be hilariously sexy. Like Firth v. Grant in the Bridget Jones movies) it really doesn't make it true.

But then you decide to contribute to the Huffington Post, and your inaugural post is about Competitive Eating, one of my excellent subject matter obsessions? Seriously, mister, you make my heart go pitter-pat.

You need to stop doing that, please.

Thank you, and goodnight.


roro said...

I hear he's single again. Perhaps your letter will spark his interest (and your silver shoes too!)

Melissa said...

Lady, I knew I could depend on you to give me hope.