Accosted by an Eyebrow Evangelist

While in Chicago, my friend Lisa and I spent some excellent quality time shopping. We had stopped at Barneys to take a look at the shoes they had on offer, and while downtown, had thoughts to step into Sephora before heading out to a few excellent boutiques.

Now me, I was not blessed with eyebrows that anyone can do much of anything with. They're sparse, and I use a filler to make them look less anemic. In the past couple of weeks, my found myself running low on my usual product, and thought that I'd get a Sephora staff member to recommend something new. So I left the house that morning with bare brows, and turned to stare down the world. With my skinny, skinny bare naked brows.

While crossing through Barney's make-up section, a man who reminded me of Jonathan Antin, in all his pseudo-Euro-trashy glory, who had been applying make-up at the Nars counter, shouted at Lisa and I.

"Ladies! I'm free over here!"
"Oh, well, that's good for you", I replied.

He was insistent, "Let me do your eyes!"

I shrugged. And wandered over. He had a nice suit, and seemed passionate about setting something about my eyes that he thought was wrong, right. And, hell, I needed something for those shivering, naked eyebrows.

Turns out it was Claudio Riaz, who has been making the rounds of Barneys locations with his brush line.

Riaz' Instant Brow Brush + Nars powder eyeshadow = something magical.

Check it out - nekkid on the left, all Riaz-d up on the right.




This man gave me eyebrows for my birthday. That's not something to be taken lightly. As he turned his too-intense attention to Lisa, who was rightly horrified, as she has excellently defined brows, we scampered to the cash register, me with brush and shadow in-hand, leaving Claudio a little bit richer, and with the certainty that he had turned out a lovely pair of brows on to the world.

A Birthday Weekend in Chicago

I am back from a wonderful weekend in Chicago, wherein I turned 34. I spent the weekend with my friends Lisa and Matt, and we had excellent meals, and experienced excellent shopping.

First, the meals.

Before the shopping began, Lisa and I had lunch at Karyn's, a raw food restaurant. I was delighted to find that it was just as good as NYC's Pure Food and Wine! We shared the following, and I very much wished that Karyn would put out a cook(construction?)book:

Appetizer:

• Crimini Mushrooms stuffed with a Nut Pate and Topped with a Light Gravy

Mains:

• Basil Scented Ravioli (wrapper made of jicama) with a Macademia Whipped CrËme Dressed with a Sun-Dried Tomato Puree
• Taste the Riches of the Ocean with this Creamy Sea Wrap, Filled with Avocado, Crunchy Walnut Pate, Sweet Onion and Basil Wrapped in a Seaweed Crepe

That evening, Lisa, Matt and I went to Moto. We had the 5 course tasting, Matt and Een had the meat version, and I had the vegetarian. We had the same basic courses, with vegetarian proteins substituting the meats, and without meat ingredients in the purees, sauces and reductions.

Menu:

• Edible menu was a very thin, crisp cookie printed with edible ink, accompanied by a slightly salted pear gelee an pear reduction .

Courses:

• White truffle brulee with a white truffle biscuit (veg) / maple and bacon biscuit (meat)
• Pan fried tofu (veg) / cod (meat) with soya miso puree and pan fried puffed rice
• Crispy hash browns, hard boiled egg with spinach (both were perfect cubes) with a kind of beans I can't remember (veg) and thin slices of beef (meat)
• Wee flourless chocolate and black tea cake, wee vanilla and lemon cake enrobed in gelee with raspberry
• Coffee ice cream with a cup of warm almond biscotti flavoured creamy liquid. The ice cream was freeze-dried, and you dipped it in the cup of warm liquid biscotti

Although Moto definitely has that molecular gastronomy bent, the flavours on the plate would be in place with any other high end, more traditional restaurant that I've been to. Both Moto and Karyn's were absolutely amazing, and it's really hard to choose a favourite. Out of everything, though, I do think that the white truffle brulee was the champion of the day.

Between lunch and dinner, Lisa and I went to a number of shops. I took pictures of the cuteness that came home with me.

At Habit, I picked up this brass necklace.



At Renegade Handmade, I bought this Erica Weiner bronze necklace of a mouse pelvis:



And this mounted bunny head, by T&A:

Four Random Things.

1. I've given up pretending that I don't live in PeeWee's Playhouse. Resultingly, here's the latest art installation that I threw up on the wall. It serves as an excellent faux-headboard.


Images taken from Bears by Kent Rogowski and Monkey Portraits by Jill Greenberg.


2. I am very much in love with Rob and Big.


Along with Meaty and Mini-Horse, I pretty much feel like they're the happiest, bestest family on TV.


3. I've decided that I want to learn about wine. Which means that I actually have to actively drink the stuff. While spending time with friends at the MoeJoe Lounge, I asked what kind of reds they had on offer. I didn't even let him get past saying, "We have a Napa Valley red called The Prisoner" before clapping with delight and asking for a glass. Because, really, I'm at that point where (a) a funny name or label in a (b) red is reason enough to order something. But, damn, I'm glad he suggested it, because it was really, really enjoyable. So much so that I tracked down and bought a couple of bottles for myself.

Me and wine. Who knew?


4. There are rumours going around as to my possible pixie-based heritage. I take the 5th on that.

Cake Balls are Go!

See what I mean?

Last week, I stumbled across this post from Bakerella, and I knew I had to get in on that shit.

Let the photo essay begin.

1. Bake cake. And yes, for the first time in years, I made a cake from a box. PS: I now live in a place where Red Velvet Cake doesn't make people go, "Whaaaaaa?"



2. Crumble cake.


3. Add cream cheese frosting (from a can! And yet, I am not ashamed. It goes with the box cake?)



4. Smush it all together.



5. Form into balls (BALLS!) and chill.


6. Coat with white chocolate. Run out of white chocolate, and melt down the chocolate chips you have squirelled away in your pantry, just for emergencies like this. Coat remaining with regular chocolate. Let cool down and harden.




7. The end.



I think next time, I'll set up the balls (BALLS!) on a rack and poor the chocolate over, as rolling started to brush off crumbs from the balls (BALLS!) into the coating. Lesson. Learned.

It's That Time of Year When I Start Thinking About My Birthday

Well, really, I started thinking about it even earlier this year, as I was trying to decide on just where exactly I wanted to be. For the past few years, it's been an easy decision - call up my friend Brad, and make reservations at a vegetarian-friendly, fancy-pants restaurant in Toronto, like Susur, or Perigee.

This year, I realized that I was in an interesting position that I've never been before. Hell, I'm living in a foreign land, which means that traveling to places that I've always wanted to try was all of a sudden a bargazillion times easier to do. Straight off the bat, visions of The French Laundry played through my head, for a while, until I realized that flying from the mid-west to the west coast was probably a task better taken when winter was a mere memory.

I decided that heading back to Chicago, a place I really do love so (and not just because of the head-sized vegetarian burritos, The Green Zebra, or Charlie Trotters) , wrangling Lisa and Matt into being my guess for dinner, and grabbing a table at Moto would be a most excellent course of action.

Yup, Moto. Molecular gastronomy? Don't mind if I do!

A week after making reservations for February 23, Chef Homaro Cantu appeared on Iron Chef America. And won. And made me even more delighted about my choice.

Seriously, now, Feb 23 cannot come soon enough.

It's a Wind-Based Winter

This place that I now live in has made me happy with the negligible snowfall. It also allows me to laugh when a centimetre dusting of the stuff causes 2-hour school delays.

What I'm not so pleased with, however, is the bitter, bitter wind that seemingly decided to make this city its home. I swear, it carries a switchblade, and uses it to cut to the bone every time I take a step outside. So painful is it that I've stopped caring about looking anything close to resembling pleasant to the eyes, and have taken to wearing ugly, Thinsulate-lined Sorels on my feet, over top of two pairs of socks, and densely-knit wool mittens over a pair of cashmere lined leather gloves.

But, you know, I think not having an ever-present blanket of snow on the ground makes the pain worthwhile.

That's an Extreme Mango

Since these suckers both look and taste like every other mango that has made its way into my gullet, and lack any kind of mutant aspects, like an arm or eyeball emerging from its stone, I think they're trying to market to the athletic market.

Dude!

Ball and Chain

Oh, man, do these pendents by Ball and Chain make me happy? They sure do.

I am a Horse's Ass

From the Maurizio Cattelan exhibition at Kunsthaus Bregenz in Austria.

Cutest. Phone. Ever. Also, Reality TV Freakout

I finally got a mobile phone. Take a look at the Sidekick Slide and coo with me.



I DVRd some truly horrific reality TV overnight.

• Rock of Love II, I love your for your drunken whorishness. Don't you ever go changing.
• I also got to indulge my fascination with competitive eating with 2002's Glutton Bowl. I'm watching the hard boiled egg competition RIGHT NOW. I am about to puke, and also delighted. I am complex that way.
• American Gladiators: The Next Generation? The only way you could be better is if Wesley Crusher was one of your competitors. I wonder whatever happened to the original gladiators. I am envisioning a beer paunch on Nitro, and it isn't pretty.
• Don't even get me started on my love for Celebrity Rehab and Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant. Just don't.
  

Shame? I have none. But you knew that already.

Without a Dope Beat to Step To

I really shouldn't have left you all like that. Being busy really isn't an excuse, I know, but I return with pictures?

Last night, I hosted an Ice Cream Social - which, really, was like a 5-year-old's birthday party, but with wine. And because I am one of those people, I took pictures of the spread before people started a-coming through the door.

Here's the run-down...


Made by me: vanilla cupcakes, chocolate cupcakes, ganache, vanilla butter cream, chocolate chip cheesecake cupcakes, toasted coconut.

Bought: two types of candy sprinkles, three types of Kashi party cookies, vegetable tray, and the start of the cheese section of the table.



A close up of the chocolate chip cheesecake cupcakes.



Again with the crackers and the veg tray. The cheeses on the board: Drunken Goat, Manchego, White Cheddar. And on the plate: St. Andre and Wensleydale with Cranberry.

Behind: homemade raspberry sauce.


Behind the ice creams are pistachios and graham cracker pieces.



A close up of the ice creams. I made these as well. In the back: Cheesecake. Front left: Roasted Banana. Front Right: Chocolate Cinnamon Cayenne.

Missing from the photos: excellent cupcakes Andrea brought from Bakery Gingham.

Amy Mo took this photo of the wines, just as they began to multiply like rabbits. I started out with 6 bottles on hand. Four went out in the recycling this morning, but I now have 10 sitting on one of my selves? How does that happen?



Also welcomed into my house is an excellent candle from the much beloved Paul Robinette, a super sweet pizza wheel (do I see a pizza party in the future? Why, yes I do!), and a beautiful print by Camilla Engman.

The people I know are amazingly generous. Yes, with the gifts they brought with them, but even more so for their company and friendship. I am getting maudlin. So I will stop now.

Year End Round Up

Just like every year on this date, I take a look back at the postings I've made and sum it up for you. Want to play along? Here are the instructions:

Take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2006. That's your year in review.

Yes, I know, we're two days in already, but better late then never with the good wishes to all, no?

My friend Dani

And, goddamnit, it is a revelation, and has transported my understanding of chocolate to a place where I'll never willingly come back from.

Because my car is having more wiper mechanism problems.

I am compiling a list.

One of my dearest, funniest obsessions are robots.

A few months back, I talked about why I blog. Now, I want to know: why do you read me?

Sterling Silver Jess Necklace by Figs & Ginger. Swiss Dot Swing Dress by Alice + Olivia, inner shell silk, outer dress silk/cotton.

I'm just so focused on getting my act together with the up-coming move to Columbus, I feel like that's all I've been doing, and all I've been thinking, and all I've got to tell you. And that's already tired, I'm sure.

From Grateful Plate

Except it's more like furnished corporate apartment, and not hotel, but I am still very happy about it.

That's right, this weekend I finally got my ass down the the BMV, and sat through a written (if written means computer touch-screen) test, wherein I had to answer questions about farm machinery on highways.


Happy New Year, everyone.

A Movie Confession

I think Johnny Dangerously is a really, really good movie.

It's an Ice Cream Social

In the New Year, I'm going to be hosting my first ever Columbus get together. I figured that since the furniture is now in my new apartment that I should have people over to come and sit on it. But not in a Happy Days way.

No, this isn't the first time that The Fonz has made an appearance on It's a Monkey. And it probably won't be the last.

But back to the Ice Cream Social That's right, instead of hoisting homemade ice cream on unsuspecting co-workers in the office, I'm having people over with the express purpose of getting their sugar on.

Because ice cream, though easy to make, takes a time - for every batch, you need at least 24 hours for the base to chill (and sometimes more for flavours to infuse) before tossing it in the ice cream maker, I decided to start a couple weeks early and get those suckers out of the way.

Currently sitting in my freezer is a container of Cream Cheese Ice Cream that I turned this morning. Tomorrow will see a completed batch of Roasted Banana Ice Cream made from the base currently sitting in my fridge, chilling like, ah, The Fonz. And tomorrow will be Chocolate Cinnamon Cayenne's turn.

Accompanying the frozen will be a mess of cupcakes that I'll be busting out of the oven the day of the social - a deep, rich chocolate, a lovely vanilla, and, one of my favourites, a chocolate chip cheesecake filling plopped in the middle of a chocolate cake base. I'm also planning on offering a beaten chocolate ganache and a vanilla buttercream as icings.

And because not everyone can deal with all sugar all the time, I'm also putting out a cheeseplate. I'm thinking maybe Manchego, Wensleydale with Cranberry and Saint Andre. And possibly something else. Any requests? Because, apparently, that's all dairy all the time. And, unless anyone has any other suggestions, the cheese will be accompanied by Kashi TLC Party Crackers. Because those crackers? They're a PARTY.

Also, there will be wine - a selection of reds and whites.

Wine and desserts and cheese. Really, what could be better?

In Which I Almost Puke, Make Out Like a Bandit, and Show You Cheap, But Awesome, Art

1. Almost Puking

On Sunday, I flew on back to Canada for the holidays. Flights between Columbus and Toronto are handled by wee little planes that, when bursting at the seams, seat, perhaps, 40 people. Sunday was a windy, windy day, and for the first time ever, I saw merit in including a barf bag in the backs of airplane seats. There's nothing worse then that heaving stomach and sweaty hot flash that accompanies the urge to puke.

The puke urge, however, was defeated, and shook an angry fist at me while I laughed at its anger as it was banished from my body.

Then I landed in Toronto. There was snow on the ground. That almost made me puke again.


2. Making Out Like a Bandit

My family gets all crazy-like with the gift giving. Crazy-like, I say. Because on top of all of the awesomeness of seeing my parents and my brother, and the thoughtful things they all did for me, I ended up taking home a completely surprise gift.

Ever wanted a GPS that could speak to you in the voice of Mr T?

I did. AND GUESS WHAT I HAVE NOW! And while I still have to get my ass in gear and download Mr T (download Mr T!), I am delighted with the mere prospect.

And because I love my brother, I now planning on sending him on quarterly "buying" visits to LuluLemon. Don't say I never do anything for you, mister.


3. Showing You Cheap Art

Well, not cheap, but an inexpensive way to get some art on your walls, sucka.

I adore Trish Grantham's work - really, I do. Read this old post, and you'll see!

Recently, she and her partner formed a company to produce products, in small runs, from excellent artists. The first couple of items on offer are postcards and notecards bearing Grantham's work.

So I gots me a set of postcards. And a frame. And mixed them together and threw it on my wall.

Regard:

Deerhead in a Box

Oh dear, this arrived at my house yesterday!



The best thing about receiving this gift? The fact that my friend Lisa, the brilliant mind behind this lovely thing, purchased it just before I confessed my obsession with faux-mounted deer heads.

!!!

I am still delighted.

Snow Turns to Rain, and Going to the Doctor is Like Shopping

In the shiny, hopeful start of winter in Columbus, a gentle snow might fall. Snow flakes that are huge and light and delicate might fall, languidly from the sky, and they might just pile up on top of each other.

Things look lovely. Columbus residents freak the fuck out and drive like they've been caught out in a flash blizzard. And then the rain starts, and the snow disappears.

I find that turn from snow to rain immensely satisfying. Especially when I hear about the mountain of wet, heavy snow that is currently piling up in Toronto, Chicago and Boston.

Completely unrelated to the weather, I had my first US doctors appointment last week. And I swear, anything that you pay for and lets you leave with samples to try out is shopping, goddamnit!

Oh, my bookcases arrived! Once I put them in place, I remembered that the only books that I had brought with me were my cookbooks, and that my mass o' tomes are currently living in boxes in my brother's basement. Whoops? At least they'll have a place to sit when I do bring them down!

The Illness is Antlers

I have problems. My current, most pressing deal is an obsession with faux dead animal heads, all an-antlered-up.

What? you say? I am longing, with all of the passion in my heart, for pieces like these to hang on my walls. And possibly hang things from.


Erich Ginder's Ghost Antler Coat Rack:




Pols Potten's Rack Deer Park:





Big Game's Moose and Deer Heads:




Roost's Carved Wood Trophy Heads:


I sometimes despair that I will never live in a grown-up home, Pee-Wee's Playhouse, yes, all elegant and classic, not so much.

Unrelated, last night I had to talk so loudly at the corporate holiday party I went to that I sounded all Kathleen Turner at the end of the night. And not Ms. Turner when she sounded someone sexy, but Turner as an emphasemea patient.

Hey, There, Pull Up a Chair

Only the bookcases still have to arrive!




Pillow suggestions are needed, so here's a close-up of the fabric:




I broke down and bought a holiday tree. Except it's more rosemary plant then tree, but far too cute to resist.

What Happens When You Order an Ugly But Crazy Warm Pair of Winter Boots?

Ones that are waterproof even? And on crazy sale?

It snows like a son of a bitch the day before they're scheduled to arrive, that's what.



I take the blame for the snow fall.

I take the blame for purchasing super ugly boots. But the Sorels? They will keep feet toasty. And my cute shoes, which will be accompanying me in a cute little bag, will remain water and salt stain free.

I realized that I was an adult when I started the ugly practical shoes and boots on feet when necessary / switched out for cuteness once I arrived at my desk thing started happening in my life. Mortgage, what? Not even close. Shoe swap all the way.