This Is My New Couch

She only sits one, and is located outside, but damn, is she making my home more comfortable every minute.

Aw, Crapsticks.

I moved into my home 3 years ago. It came with an AC unit that was original to the building, and I knew that eventually, eventually, I would have to replace it.

That eventually happened last night. The freon inside the unit, where did it go? No one knows. But 18 years is a pretty good run for any appliance, no?

Thankfully, the following occurred today:

• A customer who had an AC install with the company that I'm using scheduled for tomorrow morning canceled.
• I'm had scheduled myself to work from home tomorrow.
• And the company hacked $200 off because they were trying to fill the spot.

Hopefully, if nothing crazy occurs, I'll have a cool house by tomorrow night. Cross your fingers, kids.

Passing the Torch

For the past couple of years, I've helmed a number of Squidoo lenses dedicated to providing an index of Canadian and International websites that sell and ship goods to Canada. Because the shopping? It is a love of mine.

Last week, I decided that though I loved ferreting out new retailers that provide shopping carts to Canadian customers, the job was becoming just that - a job. A job that really needed much more time dedicated to it to make sure that the lenses did their subject matters justice.

I'm passing the torch: Bargainista has graciously taken on the mantel of lens master. And I can't wait to see what she does with them!

Shoes of Silver, Thoughts of Gold

The only way to really know a city is to walk it. And whenever I travel to for business meetings, for conferences or to visit friends, I spend most of my time making friends with the city while I pound the pavement.

For years, I've been looking for a pair of shoes that (a) aren't running shoes, (b) don't look like ass, (c) I can wear while clad in a dress or skirt, and (d) let me walk and walk and walk and not end up in crippling pain at the end of the day.

I finally found a pair of silver Mary-Jane style shoes made by Puma, and I picked them up at the post office this morning. They make me smile and fill my head with thoughts of the streets I'll be walking down this summer.


Silver!

George Michael Bluth Grows Up

You really must view the newest online project of Michael Cera and Clark Duke, Clark and Michael. Brilliant and funny. Brilliantly funny.

Dear Ryan Reynolds:

Again, why is it that you're not my boyfriend?

I mean, just because I've been telling people that you're my Hollywood Boyfriend (PS: Evan Dando is still my mid-90's Indie Rock Boyfriend, and Ian Thorpe is my Closeted Gay Olympic Boyfriend. I get around) since Two Girls a Guy and a Pizza Place (last parenthesis this post: Nathan Fillion is my TV Boyfriend. I hope that won't make you fight. Or, I do hope that will make you fight. Because that would be hilariously sexy. Like Firth v. Grant in the Bridget Jones movies) it really doesn't make it true.

But then you decide to contribute to the Huffington Post, and your inaugural post is about Competitive Eating, one of my excellent subject matter obsessions? Seriously, mister, you make my heart go pitter-pat.

You need to stop doing that, please.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Why, Hellloooo, Creamy Goodness

This book arrived at my house today:


Since I have a tendency to bring in the bulk of my kitchen experiments into the office to share, I bet you're wishing you worked with me now.

I Have a New Robot

One of my dearest, funniest obsessions are robots. Whether it's doing the robot, telling people about the wonder that is Robot Frank, or pretending that the things I buy just might be robots in disguise, I feel like this one is a healthy and hilarious obsession. Unlike the one I have with pirates. Which just gets me into trouble.

The newest addition to my robot family is the Cat Eye Astrale 8. She sits, perched on the handles of my bike, telling me the distance I've peddled, the speed I'm barreling along at, the maximum speed I've hit on a ride, the average speed, how long I've been peddling for, the actual time o' day, and, most importantly, the cadence of my peddling.

This morning, I went out on a hill ride, and started training myself to keep a constant cadence -
peddling more or less forcefully, and switching gears up and down to keep an effective and efficient ride. And it freaking ruled.

Apropos of nothing, here's a confession: I'm currently watching a reairing of the Miss Universe Pagent for two reasons:

• Judges Nina Garcia and Marc Bouwer
• The below fall:

Assholes of the Animal Kingdom

I am compiling a list. Feel free to contribute.

1. Canada Geese. Yes, majestic. Yes, a symbol of the country I live in. And yet? Nasty, nasty little birds. Territorial in a way that you will never understand unless you experience for yourself - and territorial not in a way where they've staked out claim on a slice o' geography, but territorial in the sense in that if you come within 10 feet of them, wherever they are, they will GO AFTER YOUR EYES. Also, poop as big as your thumb.
2. Zebras. The Colbert Report learned me this: attacking zebras have caused more deaths in zoos then traditional predators, like lions and tigers and bears combined. Why? Because when they bite you, they won't let go until you are dead. I feel that zebras need to replace bears on Colbert's Threat-Down.

Talking about tigers, you have to read this story about Boris, the Siberian Tiger transfered from Montreal to Edmonton. Poor Boris - he only speaks French. He must be so loney.

Riding Blind

Ever since I got me a new, lovely road bike, I've been riding roads that I've never, ever been on before. In the city that I live in, the line between subdivision and farmstead / hiking trail woodlands is very distinct, and very, very close.

Early this morning, before many cars took to the road, my legs and my bike took the rest of my body across that line, up into the rural wilderness. The route I took was one of the prettiest and most difficult that I've attempted so far. The roads twisted and turned and were full of hills that needed climbing, and racing down the other side at speeds I've never hit before.

There's nothing like having the wind in your face as you swoop down a narrow country road full of hairpin turns, only to hit an incline of an even steeper magnitutude, and, realizing after you've made it to the top that you successfully resisted the urge to stand while peddling to make getting up that hill easier.

Also, I passed a horse farm. Horse farm! I now wish to take dressage lessons there.

I know I'm going to pay for this morning's ride tomorrow. Hell, I'm exhausted right now, but, damn, I can ride hills!

What Will Happen When Knut Grows Up?

Though it is inevitable, of course, I think capturing wee Knut while still wee is key. So here's the little man, by CreativeThursday, print available via her Etsy Shop.


Unrelated and random, this morning, I found myself delighted and may have clapped my hands like a goon. Why? Headed to Chicago at the end of July.

The end.

Vital and Fabulous Communications

Cracking. Up.

There Are A Number Of Reasons To Stop Eating Meat

There are a number of reasons to stop eating meat, by either cutting down, or cutting it out entirely. Here's a brand spanking new situation that I've never run across before - until today. Yes, I've lifted the below article in it's entirety. I am lazy. And don't have a subscription to the Wall Street Journal.

Source: Article via Serious Eats via The Wall Street Journal

Junk Food Fed Livestock

Posted by Alaina Browne on May 22, 2007

The growing demand for corn-based ethanol is pushing up the price of corn, causing some livestock producers to supplement their animals' diets with more affordable human food:

Dwight Hess, a cattle feedlot operator in Marietta, Pa., is located in the heart of snack country, near Hershey and Herr Foods Inc., a maker of potato chips, pretzels and snack mixes. His cattle ration consists of about 17% "candy meal," a blend of chocolate bars and large chunks of chocolate; 3% of what he calls "party mix," a blend of popcorn, pretzels, potato chips and cheese curls; 8% corn gluten; and the remainder corn and barley he grows. He says the byproducts save him about 10% on feed costs. Still, it costs him about 65 cents to put a pound on a steer, up from 42 cents last year.

No mention of how these animals taste compared to their corn-fed counterparts. [via The Food Section]

New York, Where We Get to the Jeans

Right, where did I leave off, before falling into an exhausted heap? Dinner on Friday, no? Ah, so let's pick up there.

After polishing off an insanely pleasing spread, we walked on over to a bar on the lower east side, where a friend of Heather's was throwing a birthday party for her husband. When I finally started to fade, I headed back to my hotel with plans to meet Lauren for an Important Shopping Expedition the next day.

Saturday morning, I did my best Heather impersonation and infiltrated the Equinox Fitness at 2nd and 54th. It was a very lush fitness centre, and put my own chain to shame with the loveliness and the working equipment. On the way back to my room, I picked up a couple of bananas, some plain greek yogurt and granola at the Food Emporium, and a coffee at Pax Wholesome Foods.

Lauren and I met up late morning, and started walking all about SoHo, NoHo and the LES, through both drizzle and rain, stopping at sample sales and in a few week boutiques. I found a few jersey dresses that I would have loved to have bought at Zachary's Smile, but they were cut too big for my frame. We lunched at a sweet restaurant who's name escapes me (I remember! Say hello to Zoe Restaurant), and I dined on a layered spinach salad with shaved mushrooms, a light vinaigrette and toasted pistachios. One of the best salads that I have ever eaten, and I was sad that, even though it was as big as my head, that I tore through it so quickly. Lauren and I split up around 5PM, and I headed back into midtown, with a mission that only Barneys could fulfill.

My mission? A pair of super-dark jeans with no distressing or obnoxious pocket details. Fulfilled quite ably, by J Brand's 914 in Ink.

By the time I made my way out of Barney's, after cruising through floor after floor of designer dresses, none of which made me want to try them on, not for lack of trying to fall in love with them, it was pissing down rain in a rather unpleasant manner. And my stomach was screaming at me to put something in it. I stopped by Pax and picked up a veg wrap, and made my way, drowned like rat, back to my room. Due to the obnoxiously early Sunday morning flight that I had booked, I decided to make it an early night, and stayed in.

This morning, my 5:30 AM nodding-off while sitting in the terminal was interrupted by a gaggle of screaming children playing Nerf Football while their parents encouraged them to ham it up as they snapped pictures and drank mimosas made at the bench seating. If I hadn't already decided to not have kids, I do so think that this would've been the morning that would've pushed me over the edge.

The flight itself was uneventful, excepting the descent into Toronto. Looking out the window, I saw the most amazing thing that I have witnessed in a long, long time. The cloud-cover between 15,000 and 10,000 feet was gauzy and riddled with holes. The way the sun shone though the empty spaces and illuminated the clouds around them was absolutely startling and stunning.

And now I am home.

The end.

I Go To New York, Eat Raw and Buy Jeans

It's true, I do. But if it works, it works, no?

Friday's flight out was delayed by two hours, putting me smack-dab in the middle of drizzley rush hour traffic on the drive into Manhattan. But the frustration of it all evaporated when I met up with my friends Heather and Lauren at Pure Food and Wine. Excellent conversation and food that was vegan and raw and immensely flavourful. Who could ask for anything more?

We decided to go with the five course tasting menu, pared with a refreshing rose. For most of the courses, we all received something completely different, and I feel like almost everything that came out of the kitchen was something that I had wanted to try. So we shared every dish, and it was so, so satisfying and flavourful, I can't even begin to tell you. Wanna see it? Here it goes.

Amouse Bouche:

• Chunk of cashew cheese topped with a blackberry with a balsamic reduction

First Course:

• Spicy Thai Lettuce Wraps with Tamarind Chile Sauce, Pea Shoots, Mango and Cabbage
• Jerusalem Artichoke and Cucumber Dolmas with Cilantro Tahini, Preserved Lemon Oil and Fresh Mint
• Ironbound Island Sea Vegetable Salad with Blue Green Algae Dust, Watercress, Avocado, and Mellow White Miso Dressing

Second Course:

• Marinated Shiitake and Avocado Sushi Rolls with Pink Pickled Ginger, Cucumber, Dulse rolled in Jicama Rice
• Morel Mushrooms with Spring Vegetables and Ramp Cream, Sweet Corn, Sugar Snap Peas and 50 Year Balsamic
• White Corn Tamales with Raw Cocoa Mole, Marinated Mushrooms, Salsa Verde and Avocado

Third Course:

• Cold Avocado Soup with Mango and Chili Chutney

Fourth Course:

• Zuchinni and Roma Tomato Lasagne with Basil-Pistachio Pesto, Sun-Dried Tomato Sauce and Pignoli Ricotta
• Lapsang Smoked Portabella Mushroom with Caper Potato Salad, Hawthorne Valley Ruby Kraut, and Wildflower Honey Mustard
• Chanterelle Mushroom and Kalamata Olive Raviolo with Macadamia Cream, Parsely Salad and Pistachio Oil

Palate Cleanser:

• Shot glasses of Melon Water

Fifth Course:

• Chocolate Molten Lava Cake with Mocha Mousse, Chocolate Sauce, and Vanilla Pink Peppercorn Ice Cream
• Passion Fruit Mousse with Lime Cream and Pineapple Coconut Sorbet
• Orchid Trio of Ice Creams of Umeboshi Lemongrass, Chamomile Tamarid Mangluck and Green Tea Cardamom Pistachio

Dude, I KNOW.

I Have Problems with Cell Phones

I can't use them.

Okay, I can, but not very well.

Seriously.

I put it down to both disinterest, and the fact that, without prior experience, it's pretty much impossible to just pick one up and make a call. See, my lack of desire to be able to be reached whenever and where ever - I couldn't even tell you what my cell number is without looking it up - has lead to my resistance to learning how to use a technology that's so much more complex then it needs to be.

If I could have a cell phone that had an ON/OFF button, an ANSWER button, and a HANG UP button, along with all the numbers, I would possibly use mine more often. Possibly. Okay, probably not, but I'd be much happier when I did make use of it.

I don't think there's been such a device since the times of Zach Morris.

PS: It's impossible to find a picture of Morris on his cell phone, so I made the picture you see above. I am a talented lass.

Interviewed By A Creampuff

So Rose has an awesome idea: Comment on a post where she answers five interview questions, and she'll ask you five questions of her own, only if you offer to do the same for others. So, here goes.

First, the Q&A.


1. Susur calls. He's coming over later, just to hang. What do you cook for him?

Oh, man. OH, MAN. First off, I would love to know your plans for how I can make Susur a friend who would come all the way to Burlington to just hang. Because I feel like that's something that I would very much like to happen.

So I've been thinking about this for a bit, and I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't cook a damn thing. Ah, but I would MAKE stuff. If he moseyed on over, and it was no where near time for a meal, I would serve up a batch of homemade chocolate cinnamon cayenne ice cream - you know the icy wonder that I'm talking about, lady. I'd probably pair that with a sauce made from my cinnamon peanut butter. Just because I think it would fucking rock.

Since I tend to love the flavours and type of cooked cuisine that Lee specializes in, I would take a complete left turn and prepare something completely different. Yup, I'd uncook him a few raw food vegan dishes. Veg sushi made with jicama rice as a starter, and a zucchini lasagne with cashew-cheese as a main. And then that freakfest ice cream for dessert.



2. So, uh . . . what's with you and the monkeys?

There's nothing like a prehensile tail.

Really, though, when I step back from the monkey cuteness and really think about it, their genetic proximity to the human animal is a constant reminder of the respect that we have for the beings that we share the planet with. And they're also a constant reminder as to one of the reasons why I haven't eaten anything with a face in over a decade.

I fear I have just outed myself as a hippy. Damn you, Rosemary!


3. Which embarassing teen film did you feel captured the essence of your experience but when you watched it as an adult, made you cringe?

The Breakfast Club. I was so sure that I was that geek that Brian represented. Looking back, I had such a distorted view of myself, it makes me laugh. But I really value that as well, because I don't think I'd be the awesome ass (with an awesome ass) that's before you now without putting all that crap and pressure and need to people-please on myself, you know?


4. If you could go back and deliver a message to your twenty year old self, what would you say?

I gots three:

• Google
• The Pocket Fisherman really IS the best Popiel invention ever.
• Stop being a fool and let yourself fall in love already.

5. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

This is something that we really shouldn't talk about.

I've already said too much.

Damn you, Rosemary!

Okay, I would love to be a pre-cog, but only if I could control it. I really am that much of a control freak.



And now, the give and take. Want to take part? Leave a comment with your email address and I'll make up a few questions for you to answer.

Latest Etsy Loves

In the past, I've told you about The Black Apple, Bonspiel Creations and Hollyhawk Handmade Leather. Figured it was time to tell you about a few new kids who have caught my eye. Say hello to:

ORNO (the all-caps is their idea)


Blueberry Bandit:


And Pop Pictures:

The Birds

I have an abiding love for handmade animal creations. The latest object of my admiration is Ann Wood.

Wood's handmade bird sculptures, made of vintage, reclaimed fabrics, just delight me to no end. She's recently started a series called The Daily Bird where a new creation is posted for sale every day.

That's right. One. One a day. Which means that I am never quick enough to snap one of these lovelies up. So, let's take a look of my favourites wee cheeping lads and lasses so far.




Confidential to Kate and Rose: She does completely lovely and outrageous cake toppers as well.

I Want, I, Well, Want

Fashiony blog I Want - I Got directed me to the works of French jewellery-maker Boucheron. And I WANT.

If I Were a Broach-Wearing Lass, I'd Wear This

rabbit
Originally uploaded by little nemo in slumberland.

By Little Nemo in Slumberland, from Australia. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any of his work for sale online. I sure wish I could, though.

Facing Forward

It's important to have things to look forward to. Anticipation of the coming awesome makes the in-between times, the even-keel times, the times where nothing remarkable is happening, just...better. The possibility of what might happen starts to colour the ordinary, and things start to look different.

Grocery shopping see the inclusion of wee, travel-sized items in my cart. Coveting of a lovely dress by a new designer, physically only available in NYC (interwebs don't count!) lead to thoughts of what it would take to track it down and try it on. Emails tend to start with an "I'm going to see you soon!" and responses are all, "You're going to be here soon!". Stating the obvious becomes delightful.

It's been a while since I've taken a trip that didn't have anything remotely related to work. And I'm thinking that I really don't do enough of taking trips just for the fun of it.

NYC, I hope you feel like playing nice when I come down to visit you. I want to walk and walk and walk about your streets with my friends, shopping and eating and shopping some more. And I want to do it wearing awesome little spring-like dresses, and swing my arms and feel the sun gently falling down on my head.

I want to have fun. I plan on having fun. And, you know what? I really do think that fun? Is going to be unavoidable.

Can't. Wait.

Say Hello to Pee and Poo

The Swedes? They know awesome. They know plush toys. They know AWESOME plush toys.

Visit:
The World of Pee and Poo
Pee and Poo for sale at FredFlare.com

Wanna Get Me Something?

Hold Up - Trish Grantham

Short Attention Span Theatre

This one is for Kate.

So today, I came across a web-based drama called Prom Queen. Produced by Michael Eisner's new company (yes, that Michael Eisner), this is the first funded piece of daily episodic online video that actually does what other online soaps try to do - bring the teen drama to the web. Okay, so the teen drama is already there, but in moving, fictional, picture form.

What's more interesting is the non-video aspects of the project - forums, contests, a MySpace page, sponsorship by a big-name, forthcoming movie release, episode tagging, direct access to all past episodes, and the ability for sadsack bloggers like me to embed them in their own pages. Like the collection of the first week that you see below.


Online Videos by Veoh.com


Too bad the story is kind of sucky.

Did I Wear Too Many Monkeys Today?

Outfit, head to toe.

Around neck:



This dress, hemmed to the knee:




And on my feet:

So, I Give You Cupcakes

Art Makes My Heart Go Pitter-Pat

I'm adding to my contemporary art crush harem. The current line-up:

• Kathy Olivas
• Ray Caesar
• Tara McPherson
• Peter Callesen

And the new kid...Emily Martin.

It's been killing me to not talk about her dreamy prints, but I had to wait, you see, as I was sending a print of her piece Heidi, to a friend as a birthday gift.

So here're a few samples of her work. Love. LOVE.

Heidi

Bunny on Wheels

Jackalope Baby

Fox in the Snow

Rock N Roll

I Mark Time in Haircuts

In almost a whole haircut from now, I will be in Manhattan, shopping and eating and spending time with lovely people. Without a conference to attend to take away from my time striding around the city.

I feel like this is going to be the summer of traveling for fun. That means I'm watching you, Chicago and Vancouver. And I'm coming to get you.

Not like that paragraph wasn't creepy or anything.

In randomness, as if I need proof of my shortness, I bought a pair of cropped pants this weekend. And had to shorten them by two inches so that they'd actually look cropped on me, like they're supposed to.

I sometimes forget about the actual fact of my size. Apparently, I do need proof of my shortness.

The end.

I Am At Fault

I need to stop talking about clever network TV shows, as they tend to get cancelled. Case in point: Andy Barker, PI.

The last two episodes air tonight.

Sick Room or Office Space?

Current illness count on my team at work: 7/9. Those two non-ill people? Amoungst them, me.

In order to bring up the energy in the room, I have fallen back into the role of manically energetic fool. Today, when I came to the conclusion that it's more then possible to do an impression of a database. Especially when you imbue that database with the personality of Frankenstein. And I just couldn't hold back.

"RRRRRR. I R.T.M! I SMASH! RRRRRR."

The things I do for these people.

The Sick Room, Edvard Munch

Because I Want To Have A Good Day

I will think good thoughts, and not post all of the ranting complaints that are in my head.

Instead, I will show you this, from Darling Shoppe:


I feel like there should be more leaping high-fives. And, perhaps, cricket impressions.

But that's just between you and me.

This Is The Only Reason I Like Easter

Image via CuteOverload

Menagerie, Around My Neck

My latest animal-based jewellery acquisition arrived today. Since no one else seems to be on board with buying me a pony, I up and got one for myself. And then I thought I might as well confess my animal necklace collection crime. Via photographs.

Random Facts and a Rumour - Me In The Office

I have been known to do The Robot in the middle of the office. I did not need an instructional video to learn how to pop and lock.

I have been known to do a gorilla impression in the middle of the office.

Rumour: An impression of a gorilla doing the robot is in the works. This, I can neither confirm or deny.

Thank God For Extended Warranties

Because my car is having more wiper mechanism problems. And the part will take 3 - 5 days to come in. And my warranty? It covers car rental.

So I'm in a rental car for the next wee bit. It's like being on a holiday in a strange city. Except without the holiday. And the strange city.

I don't know what else to say - I've been running about like a mad woman with the car and the dealership and the rental place. Hence, the incoherance. I'll be more amusing tomorrow. Promise.

PS: It's NOT a PT Cruiser.