Year End Round Up

Just like every year on this date, I take a look back at the postings I've made and sum it up for you. Want to play along? Here are the instructions:

Take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2006. That's your year in review.

Yes, I know, we're two days in already, but better late then never with the good wishes to all, no?

My friend Dani

And, goddamnit, it is a revelation, and has transported my understanding of chocolate to a place where I'll never willingly come back from.

Because my car is having more wiper mechanism problems.

I am compiling a list.

One of my dearest, funniest obsessions are robots.

A few months back, I talked about why I blog. Now, I want to know: why do you read me?

Sterling Silver Jess Necklace by Figs & Ginger. Swiss Dot Swing Dress by Alice + Olivia, inner shell silk, outer dress silk/cotton.

I'm just so focused on getting my act together with the up-coming move to Columbus, I feel like that's all I've been doing, and all I've been thinking, and all I've got to tell you. And that's already tired, I'm sure.

From Grateful Plate

Except it's more like furnished corporate apartment, and not hotel, but I am still very happy about it.

That's right, this weekend I finally got my ass down the the BMV, and sat through a written (if written means computer touch-screen) test, wherein I had to answer questions about farm machinery on highways.


Happy New Year, everyone.

A Movie Confession

I think Johnny Dangerously is a really, really good movie.

It's an Ice Cream Social

In the New Year, I'm going to be hosting my first ever Columbus get together. I figured that since the furniture is now in my new apartment that I should have people over to come and sit on it. But not in a Happy Days way.

No, this isn't the first time that The Fonz has made an appearance on It's a Monkey. And it probably won't be the last.

But back to the Ice Cream Social That's right, instead of hoisting homemade ice cream on unsuspecting co-workers in the office, I'm having people over with the express purpose of getting their sugar on.

Because ice cream, though easy to make, takes a time - for every batch, you need at least 24 hours for the base to chill (and sometimes more for flavours to infuse) before tossing it in the ice cream maker, I decided to start a couple weeks early and get those suckers out of the way.

Currently sitting in my freezer is a container of Cream Cheese Ice Cream that I turned this morning. Tomorrow will see a completed batch of Roasted Banana Ice Cream made from the base currently sitting in my fridge, chilling like, ah, The Fonz. And tomorrow will be Chocolate Cinnamon Cayenne's turn.

Accompanying the frozen will be a mess of cupcakes that I'll be busting out of the oven the day of the social - a deep, rich chocolate, a lovely vanilla, and, one of my favourites, a chocolate chip cheesecake filling plopped in the middle of a chocolate cake base. I'm also planning on offering a beaten chocolate ganache and a vanilla buttercream as icings.

And because not everyone can deal with all sugar all the time, I'm also putting out a cheeseplate. I'm thinking maybe Manchego, Wensleydale with Cranberry and Saint Andre. And possibly something else. Any requests? Because, apparently, that's all dairy all the time. And, unless anyone has any other suggestions, the cheese will be accompanied by Kashi TLC Party Crackers. Because those crackers? They're a PARTY.

Also, there will be wine - a selection of reds and whites.

Wine and desserts and cheese. Really, what could be better?

In Which I Almost Puke, Make Out Like a Bandit, and Show You Cheap, But Awesome, Art

1. Almost Puking

On Sunday, I flew on back to Canada for the holidays. Flights between Columbus and Toronto are handled by wee little planes that, when bursting at the seams, seat, perhaps, 40 people. Sunday was a windy, windy day, and for the first time ever, I saw merit in including a barf bag in the backs of airplane seats. There's nothing worse then that heaving stomach and sweaty hot flash that accompanies the urge to puke.

The puke urge, however, was defeated, and shook an angry fist at me while I laughed at its anger as it was banished from my body.

Then I landed in Toronto. There was snow on the ground. That almost made me puke again.


2. Making Out Like a Bandit

My family gets all crazy-like with the gift giving. Crazy-like, I say. Because on top of all of the awesomeness of seeing my parents and my brother, and the thoughtful things they all did for me, I ended up taking home a completely surprise gift.

Ever wanted a GPS that could speak to you in the voice of Mr T?

I did. AND GUESS WHAT I HAVE NOW! And while I still have to get my ass in gear and download Mr T (download Mr T!), I am delighted with the mere prospect.

And because I love my brother, I now planning on sending him on quarterly "buying" visits to LuluLemon. Don't say I never do anything for you, mister.


3. Showing You Cheap Art

Well, not cheap, but an inexpensive way to get some art on your walls, sucka.

I adore Trish Grantham's work - really, I do. Read this old post, and you'll see!

Recently, she and her partner formed a company to produce products, in small runs, from excellent artists. The first couple of items on offer are postcards and notecards bearing Grantham's work.

So I gots me a set of postcards. And a frame. And mixed them together and threw it on my wall.

Regard:

Deerhead in a Box

Oh dear, this arrived at my house yesterday!



The best thing about receiving this gift? The fact that my friend Lisa, the brilliant mind behind this lovely thing, purchased it just before I confessed my obsession with faux-mounted deer heads.

!!!

I am still delighted.

Snow Turns to Rain, and Going to the Doctor is Like Shopping

In the shiny, hopeful start of winter in Columbus, a gentle snow might fall. Snow flakes that are huge and light and delicate might fall, languidly from the sky, and they might just pile up on top of each other.

Things look lovely. Columbus residents freak the fuck out and drive like they've been caught out in a flash blizzard. And then the rain starts, and the snow disappears.

I find that turn from snow to rain immensely satisfying. Especially when I hear about the mountain of wet, heavy snow that is currently piling up in Toronto, Chicago and Boston.

Completely unrelated to the weather, I had my first US doctors appointment last week. And I swear, anything that you pay for and lets you leave with samples to try out is shopping, goddamnit!

Oh, my bookcases arrived! Once I put them in place, I remembered that the only books that I had brought with me were my cookbooks, and that my mass o' tomes are currently living in boxes in my brother's basement. Whoops? At least they'll have a place to sit when I do bring them down!

The Illness is Antlers

I have problems. My current, most pressing deal is an obsession with faux dead animal heads, all an-antlered-up.

What? you say? I am longing, with all of the passion in my heart, for pieces like these to hang on my walls. And possibly hang things from.


Erich Ginder's Ghost Antler Coat Rack:




Pols Potten's Rack Deer Park:





Big Game's Moose and Deer Heads:




Roost's Carved Wood Trophy Heads:


I sometimes despair that I will never live in a grown-up home, Pee-Wee's Playhouse, yes, all elegant and classic, not so much.

Unrelated, last night I had to talk so loudly at the corporate holiday party I went to that I sounded all Kathleen Turner at the end of the night. And not Ms. Turner when she sounded someone sexy, but Turner as an emphasemea patient.

Hey, There, Pull Up a Chair

Only the bookcases still have to arrive!




Pillow suggestions are needed, so here's a close-up of the fabric:




I broke down and bought a holiday tree. Except it's more rosemary plant then tree, but far too cute to resist.

What Happens When You Order an Ugly But Crazy Warm Pair of Winter Boots?

Ones that are waterproof even? And on crazy sale?

It snows like a son of a bitch the day before they're scheduled to arrive, that's what.



I take the blame for the snow fall.

I take the blame for purchasing super ugly boots. But the Sorels? They will keep feet toasty. And my cute shoes, which will be accompanying me in a cute little bag, will remain water and salt stain free.

I realized that I was an adult when I started the ugly practical shoes and boots on feet when necessary / switched out for cuteness once I arrived at my desk thing started happening in my life. Mortgage, what? Not even close. Shoe swap all the way.

I Gots Me a License, And I'm Not Afraid to Use It!

That's right, this weekend I finally got my ass down the the BMV, and sat through a written (if written means computer touch-screen) test, wherein I had to answer questions about farm machinery on highways.

Then, this morning, I went and passed a maneuverability and road test. Don't I look cute?


Also, ALSO, my parents came down to visit this weekend! It pretty much ruled, as I think they finally believe that I won't be killed to death on the cold streets of Columbus. There was much shopping and walking and, dare I admit, hugging going on. Add on to that a community fun run where I tried to spot Michael Scott while attempting to find a way thought closed downtown streets to my parents hotel, and it was an excellent weekend.

Circuit City, Here's Why I Won't Be Your Customer

Just in case you were wondering. But from my experience with you over the past two weeks, I'm thinking you probably don't care.

See, on November 11, I ordered something from your website. It was an item that was being replaced by a new model, and, as such, was on sale. I was happy. I paid for 3-day shipping. And when November 16 rolled around and my hands were still empty, I went into my account summary and order history on your website to see just what could have happened. And the tracking number associated with my order? Turns out it wasn't valid in the FedEx system. Curious! My next step was to phone your Customer Service line.

Problem 1: Your customer service line is only manned between 9 AM - 7PM, Monday - Friday. Because, apparently, even though I used your website to order and pay for a product, the Internet, and the demands for 24 hour support, doesn't exist in your world!

The CSR I spoke to, while pleasant, directed me to call FedEx. And then call back to tell you what they had to say.

Problem 2: What? Seriously now.

So I called FedEx. Who reiterated the fact that the tracking number you gave me wasn't valid in their system. And that my address wasn't even a destination for any package that they currently had possession of.

Excellent.

So I call you Customer Support line. And while I'm issued a case number, I'm then told that Circuit City policies prevent anyone from doing anything about my undelivered, paid for product for 2 business days. And that I would have to call back to follow up. And that Circuit City has reserved the right to not actually do anything at all about the matter - issuing a replacement, or a refund - for 15 business days after that.

Problem 3: Circuit City policies? Chap my ass like nothing else. Also, again with the business days.

Problem 4: I'm doing way too much work here for something that is obviously not of my control, and has nothing to do with my part of the transaction.

On November 20 - don't forget that weekends don't count as business days! - I call back. And am told that I'd have to talk to Customer Service at head office. When I'm transfered over, the CSR I talk to tells me that a member of the Special Team (Special!) would have to investigate the case, and that they would call me within 48 - 72 BUSINESS HOURS. And hey, US Thanksgiving is on Nov 22! And guess who does business on Thanksgiving day. No one, that's who.

Problem 5: What about my part of the transaction is there to investigate? I am at a complete loss.

48 business hours passes, and I hear from no one, so I call head office Customer Support, again, on November 23.

Guess what? I've been assigned a case worker! Who will contact me within 24-72 business hours.

I swear to God, I feel the urge to punch throats.

Apparently, my case worker holds office hours on Saturday, because late afternoon of November 24, I receive a phone call.

Guess what, now! No, seriously, guess.

The item I bought? NOW OUT OF STOCK, and, remember, as it's being phased out by the manufacturer, won't ever, ever be in stock again. And my refund? Will be issued in 5 - 7 business days. BUSINESS DAYS.

Blood boiling. And a "Jesus Fucking Christ" may have popped out of my mouth.

Problem 6: Customer Service didn't even offer to send me the replacement model at a discount.

My solution? Jump in the car, drive to Best Buy, and purchase the new, replacement model. Which, at this point in time, I feel I should have done in the first place. Because the possibility of saving $100 pales in comparison to the hoops you made me jump through due to utter incompetence on your part.

And that is why I will never give you any of my money again.

PS: For My American Friends

As excellent as the new season of Project Runway USA is, you HAVE to get on the Project Runway Canada train, via YouTube. Because that? That is really, really good shit. The show itself is better then some seasons of PRUSA, and the contestant blogging? Oh, dear, so excellent.




I wish for Carlie and Lucian to design my entire wardrobe. And to have a lifestyle in which to wear such beautiful things.

Let Us Talk of Savvy Circle

I like things. That ain't no surprise, right? I'm now living in a country with a really great e-commerce landscape. Oh, heavenly - there's nothing better then not having to deal with the craziness that is physical shopping areas during the holiday season.

Now, while I have no objection to paying full price on items that I want, I'm still a fan of that thing called "the sale". And now there's a website that will keep track of things that I'd like to buy, once they go on sale, so I don't have to remember to come back and look at a a certain item on a certain website just to see if, possibly, the price has dropped.

SavvyCircle.com is such an excellent idea, I wish it had been mine. You register at the site, download their plugin to your browser, and when you look around on any of the sites that they support and see something you'd like to keep track of, you click the little SavvyCircle button that now lives at the top of your browser. That items is then placed on your personal shopping list at SavvyCircle, and the instant it goes on sale, you receive an email telling you just that.

And that's how I ended up ordering these two dresses from Anthropologie, both priced at 50% their original price.

The Cut Rush Dress, by Velvet



And the Busy Day Dress by Splendid

An interesting note: US Debit Cards are backed by credit card companies! And you can use them just like credit cards, in person and on websites that offer online shopping. Cash is still directly debited from your account, but for someone starting out in a new country, where a credit rating is completely non-existent, and getting a credit card can be a many month process, this is a revelation and a godsend. Because in Canada, debit cards are bank-supported only, and you can't really shop online with those suckers.

Also, I would kill to find out who made the decision to build the Anthro site in Flash. Because sharing pictures of what you've bought by image linking? IMPOSSIBLE. And like any good member of an Online Social Community, I'm all about the sharing. Which, in turn, will generally drive traffic back to the place where I purchase things. I'm just saying, Team Anthro.

Alright, Pictures, Finally

I'm still waiting on the armchair and bookshelves to arrive, but the couch is here, and I couldn't resist putting up the art!

Here's one side of my living room:




And the other:




See those two little pieces beside the door? I got those today at Tiny Canary, an indie design market going on in-town this weekend. They're by Mark Traughber, who's work I've been wanting to snap up for a while. I was stoked when I read that he'd be in town! I feel like I'll need to buy one of his bigger pieces in the near future, because check out how awesome these are! Art Crush to the Extreme.

A Reality Crotchular Post

The Reality (TV): for the first time ever, tonight, I will be watching Project Runway at the same time as my US friends! ALL HAIL LIVING IN THE USA.

The Reality (life): my parents are coming to visit at the end of the month, and I've asked them to bring sad things like All Bran Bran Flakes, and jars of my favourite jam with them. Because the things here taste completely different, and I am all about satisfying my taste buds. PS: I'm looking forward to seeing them, foodstuffs or not.

The Crotchular: or lack thereof. I found a solution that will let me wear dresses in the winter that doesn't involve tights with crotchular areas that live around the knees! Years ago, I figured out that if I needed to wear hosery, the only way I could do it was to wear thigh-highs. And you know what? I recently found a place called Sock Dreams that sells thigh-high tights! So I bought a couple pairs, and they're truly, truly excellent.

OH MAN. All of a Sudden, I am 16 Again.

Yesterday morning, I went to the BMV to register my car, get plates and get my ass an Ohio driver's license.

Prior to even crossing the border, I had emailed the BMV to find out what I'd need to do to, well, do all of the above. I showed up, all my documents in hand. I had a title created and registered my car. I got new license plates. And I was blindsided when I was told that I would have to (a) sit a written test, and (b) take part in a road test, in order to get a license.

Written test. Road test. Hahaha - ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Gar.

Now, none of the three people that I talked to at the BMV mentioned any kind of testing whatsoever. Hence the suprise. And hence the need to study Ohio driving laws. And hence the banging of my head against my desk.

To alleviate the frustration, I went furniture shopping this morning.

This couch will arrive at my place this week:




Dove-gray microsuede!

This armchair and two bookcases had to be special ordered.





The armchair is going to be upholstered in a great dark-background circular patterned covering that will tie in the gray with the current white couch that I have in my place. The bookcases are black stained wood, to go with the rest of my wood pieces. Unfortunately, they'll take 6-8 weeks to arrive, but will be work the wait, I think.

The People. They Choose. And Then Watch. And, Wait, What?

Really, though, the People's Choice Awards have announced the nominees for their January 2008 show, and they're asking you (yes, you) to vote. And when you do, if you register with the site, the widgets will rain upon you! Voting without registering is fine and dandy too, but the widgets? They will not be yours.

That is, if the site gets the widgets to render properly on-page. But I'll leave 'em up and see what happens.

Check it:

Also, I know, moving = pictures, and I promise, once things are put away from the piles they're currently living in around the apartment. And more furniture is purchase and brought in.

The end.

My Name is Melissa Grant

Well, no, it's not, but that's what my new car insurance company wanted everyone to believe before I caught it and had them change it.

Or, perhaps it is, and I have a secret, Sydney Bristow-like life. Over which I will have to track down and do away with all of you who just read about it. Sorry about that.

Confidential to Collin: Boston with no side-trip? You stink. Also, there's a other side of the camera reality show from ANTM's producers that started here on Sunday called The Shot. Suck on that!

An End to Hotel Living!

Except it's more like furnished corporate apartment, and not hotel, but I am still very happy about it.

Looks like my things will arrive from Canada this week! And I get to move into my new place! And use exclamation points with wild abandon!

Seriously, though, the thought of sleeping in my own bed is making me flap my arms like a goon. Add to that having all of my kitchen machines back in my possession, and a DVR hooked up to digital cable service, and my head begins to nearly spin with glee.

Which is a good thing, as heading down to the DMV once I'm in possession of a permanent address is the next thing on the schedule.

Oh Santa Barbara, How I Miss You

Although all 7 minutes are completely worth watching, the money shot of Mary being killed by the giant letter C on top of the Capwell Hotel comes along at the 6:40 mark.

I have a long, storied history of loving so-bad-its-good TV. Eden + Cruz 4Eva.

Maryanne, I love you for sending this to me!