More with the campaigning

Scott Feschuk, Paul Martin's chief speechwriter, has taken to blogging from his Blackberry while hitting all the campaign stuffs. And he is cracking my ass up. Why can't his speeches incorporate references to Erik Estrada? I think that would be a winning direction to take. I really do.

The Election Campaign Begins!

And I have a feeling this federal campaign period is going to be the most horrid, and yet the most hilarious, EVER.

First with the funny: The Liberals now have an ASTRONAUT running for them in Vaudreuil-Soulanges, PQ. How can that not be awesome? I wish to see debates where he addresses the merits of Tang.

Now with the horrid: Harper is already vowing to reverse the same-sex marriage law. I don't even know what to say about that.

One day, remind me to tell you about the time I went to a party at Bill Graham's house. Where he wore a smoking jacket. And George Smitherman got drunk and jokingly dry humped one of my friends. Okay, that's pretty much the story. The end.

Bastards. The Lot of You.

That's right, BASTARDS. You didn't come through, resulting in me buying an ice cream machine this afternoon.



















But still, cute! It's the IMac of ice cream makers! I am hopeful that it might be part robot too. Because a robot that makes ice cream? Legend.

WARNING: It's a Craft Post. But also, Water Buffalo Yogurt is Mentioned

Right. Hi. I make stuff?

Now that we have that out of the way, today, I give to you my first attempt at creating clay switchplate covers.

I know, I know. But I have fun, so shut it.

Without flash, followed by with:
























My search for excellent switchplate covers started when I forgot to return to the "Home" section of Anthropolgie when I was visiting Chicago in the summer.

The suckers above were made with a clay that you can bake in the oven to hardness. I rolled out the clay, and used a cover as a template. I then got me some rubber stamps, and pressed them into the clay. Then, bakebakebake. When they came out of the oven, I painted them all over with acrylic paint, and used stamp pad pigment over that.

I'm pleased with how they turned out, but must confess that I left a little too much clay in the centre bar part, and they don't freaking fit over my plugs. Thankfully, though rigid, they're still pliable enough to take an X-acto knife to, so I'll be able to make them fit.

Did I ever tell you that the two adults who I bought my place from left Holly Hobby switchplate covers on a number of the switches when they handed it over to me? And that they didn't actually have any children? Well, I just did now.

***

So a friend in Chicago has discovered the wonder that is Water Buffalo Milk Yogurt. And I've been longing for it ever since.

Guess what? It's not available any where near me. I know this because, as a Private Investigator, I looked into the matter. I paid visits to my local grocery stores, looking in both the Organic and Full of Chemicals dairy sections. Additionally, Star Hill Dairy's website doesn't list any Canadian retailers. Furthermore, I saw that they listed Whole Foods as a US retailer, so I emailed my closest location and asked the Food Concierge (Food Concierge! Holy crap!) if they carried the lovely, playing hard to get yogurt. They, unfortunately, do not.

Being a Rocket Scientist, I am well aware that dairy gets angry if it is kept out of it's natural refridgerated environment for too long, so shipping is pretty much out of the question. And don't give me any of that dry ice reasoning. I refuse to hear it.

I reckon I'm just going to have to go back to Chicago to visit. There's no other solution.

Just a Hollaback Girl

My left hand pinky, that is. It really just refuses to think for itself, and mindlessly follows the lead of my ring finger. Which means that when I hold something in my left hand these days, it cocks out like I was some kind of lady who lunches, sipping tea from a cup made of fine bone china.

Thankfully, the head cheerleader finger hurts less today then it did yesterday, which hurt less then Wound-day Friday. This is good, sausage-like swelling aside.

I'm starting to think that my injury posts are my own style cat blog. And this disturbs me.

I Don't Know How I Do These Things To Myself

I really don't.

Picture, if you will, a slight woman, with physical strength that belies her appearance. Picture her at the gym, say, this morning. Picture her at the high row machine, shifting plate weights off of the machine's arms.

She holds a 45 lbs plate weight in her hands. Her left cradles the bottom of the weight, steadying it, while her right hand lifts and guides, sliding the weight off of the machine's right arm. As the weight nears the end of the arm, she slips. And the weight slips out of her right hand. And subsequently falls onto the middle section of her left ring finger, crushing it between itself and a weight held on a rack below it.

She utters a definative, yet almost silent GODDAMN!

The finger starts to throb. And swell. And the woman goes to the hospital to get it x-rayed.

The result? No break, thank god, but an equally painful and deep soft tissue injury.

Here's what my hand looks like now, injured digit taped to it's stalwart neighbour.











Let the mocking begin.

Someone Needs to Buy Me Chocolates, Please

These ones, in particular.

Wild Sweets Exotic Chocolates have just released two seasonal collections: Harvest and Science Kit.

Let me break them down for you. The Harvest collection contains chocolate and autumn harvest pairings. Regard:

• Apricot Chanterelle Emulsion & Plum Wine Reduction
• Kabotcha, Coconut Milk & Sweet Curry Emulsion
• Morel Icewine Emulsion & Walnut Panko Toast
• Rhubarb Stilton Emulsion & Port Wine Reduction
• Red Pepper, Raspberry & Vodka Emulsion
• Mincemeat Caramel & Butternut Squash Emulsion (I'm assuming this is fruit-only mincemeat)
• Sweet Pea Emulsion & Almond Nugat
• Apple Red Cabbage Gelee & Chesnut Praline
• Black truffle, Orange & Cinnamon Emulsion
• Yellow Pepper, Mango & Vodka Emulsion
• Parsnip, Pear & Vanilla Emulsion
• Barbeque Tomato Jam & Matcha Lime Emulsion

And look, so pretty!

















The Science Kit contains four chocolate desert experiments, totalling 64 portions. Holy crap!

• #1 - TensioActivity/ Foaming: Apple Muscovado Consomme/Frappe, Chocolate Caviar & Puffed Quinoa Choco Grains
• #2 - Hydrocolloids / Temperature & Texture: Strawberry Champagne Emulsion, Strawberry Carpaccio & Exotic Fruit Pearls
• #3 - Encapsulation / Aroms: Orange Curry Gel / Chicory Licorice Emulsion Eprouvette, ChoCoffee Hot Ganache & Coffee Salt Oranges
• #4 - Gel / Dispersion: Chocolate Dispersion, Cumin Gel, Raisin Confit & Exploding Crunch

Both are only available until Feb 11. But really, that gives me much time to get my belly some of the lovely awesomeness above.

Dwight Has a Blog

I am delighted.

Dwight's Blog.

My Kingdom for an Ice Cream Maker!

Good goddamn. Good. God. Damn, I said! How is it that no one that I know within reach out and punch them proximity has an ice cream maker that I can beg, borrow or steal? Especially when I have a recipe for chocolate cinnamon cayenne ice cream burning a whole in my back pocket?

Help me out here, kids. Don't make me buy an ice cream machine just so I can do this. Don't make me!

Oh, snap, you're going to make me, aren't you? I shake my fist at you, all of the people I know and love who haven't had the forethought to purchase an ice cream machine so I can borrow it.

***

I know, its been a few days, no? Sorry about that. I wish I could tell you stories of an exciting life filled with pirates and monkeys, but, alas, I cannot.

I have done not much more then the hanging out. And the shopping for presents for other people that I can't talk about right now, but am aching to, because, hello, PERFECTION, but they won't arrive at their destination for days, so they need to be kept under the non-existant hat (monkey pirate hat?) until they arrive and are opened, but, oh god, I'm excited to hear about the reception and will stop talking in run-on sentences now.

So I need to be quiet for a bit. Because the urge to throw out the secret into the open is growing like a boil.

Lovely!

PS: talking about gifts, how pissy is it that most gift guides published in this day and age (I just said day and age! Hack, I am) place all the electronic toys on lists for men? I am not a man. My lady parts tell me this. And I fucking love electronic gadgets.

The end.

I Can't Push Her Any Faster, Captain!

The battery - she's dead!

Gahhhhhh, what a day. Wandered on down to my car this morning. No response. Now, it's not like I expect my car to jump up and down and pee like an overexcited puppy when I walk into the garage, but I do expect some kind of cheerful response when I turn the key. Poor baby, she was sick and needed a boost.

Leaving from work to bring her in for a checkup at the doctor? Same response. Solution? Boost.

Half a kilometer away from the dealership, stopped at the lights on the offramp from the highway? She up and died!

Much like Scarlet O'Hara, I had to depend on the kindness of a lovely stranger named Ken who was able to manouver his truck in front of my car to give me a quick boost and followed me through 3 intersections until I reached my destination.

I go pick up my baby in an hour. I hope she feels like a new car. Or, you know, battery.

Random Starting Over awesomeness: Return of the snotty high pitched Josie cry today! Hot damn.

Baked Goods, My Favourite Scents Ever

Anyone who knows me knows me knows of my adoration for products that smell like baked goods and candy confections. Florals give me a headache, musks give me a headache, pure citrus scents give me a headache, but baked goods? Baked goods make my head feel lovely, and put my in a lovely, happy mood. Possibly because of the lack of headache, but more likely because of my love of dessert.

My food scented obsession began with purchase of Philosophy 3-in-1 shampoo / shower gel / conditioners, and quickly became a matter of collection. I can't begin to tell you how many of their scents I've tested, because, really, it's a little troubling. And as they continue to retire and replace them, I shall continue to buy and try and buy and try. My current favourite? Double Rich Hot Cocoa.

Because I felt the need to not only start my day with an excellently scented shower, but to carry on the smelly joy thoughout the day, I began sourcing perfume scents and moisturizers that could make me feel like I had a pastry chef making treats for me in my bag. The Body Bakery, Skindazzles, The Body Perfumery...all excellent places for the products I craved.

While visiting a friend in Chicago, she introduced me to Comptoir Sud Pacifique's Amour de Cacao. And I fell in love. You know how the slightly overcooked edges of a pan of brownies smells? The best bit of a pan of brownies? Damn. Straight.

I bring this up now because I just recieved my order of scented wax melts from Skindazzles. Yes, when I can't be making baked goods, I still want my house to smell like it. I'm currently taking in the scent of Cranberry Truffles, and I am delighted.

It's a Random New York Post

Oh, yes it is.

1) Minor celebrity sightings: Because it wouldn't be a trip without them. On the way to Manhatten, I shared my plane with one Clark Johnson, or, as I'll always think of him, Detective Meldrick Lewis from Homicide: Life on the Street. Also, hilariously, when I was waiting at the ticketing desk, the guy in front of me, hoisting a guitar hardcase, was questioned by the ticketing agent about the band that he played in. His answer? Our Lady Peace. It made me feel sorry for him and think about the plight of the non-front man in a Canadian famous band. I wonder if they have support groups? And finally, when I was waiting for the plane from Toronto to deplane so I could climb aboard to head back to that city, none other then Earl Camem...erm, Eugene Levy was the first passenger to disembark.

2) Goddamn are there a lot of people in Manhatten. I thought I was doing fairly well with the crowds and the noise until I walked into the Saks on 5th Avenue. Crazy hordes! Crazy hordes buying cosmetics! Crazy hordes screeching about the cosmetics they want to buy. Walked in the door, walked back out. Freaked out. Ran away.

3) On my final full day in the city, I decided to go to the 5th Ave H&M to see the just unveiled Stella McCartney line. Holy crap, UGLIEST CLOTHING EVER. I wonder how many poor girls will be buying over-priced cheaply made shapeless pieces thinking that it gives them style when all it really does is make them look poorly dressed.

The end.

Tag

So Rosemary tagged me into a game of talking about five women that inspired me. To tell you the truth, I have a hard time coming up with five things, let alone people, let alone people of the lady-part variety that have given me the inspirations, but I'm going to give it the old college try.


Mom

The ubiquetous choice, I know, but really, you gots you a mom, and that lady becomes a inspiration, one way or another. Thankfully, my mom is a lovely, incredible lady. And as the years go by, I become more and more impressed by the way she's growing as a person, and discovering who she is outside of a wife. And a mom. I consider her to be a friend, and that means so much to me, I don't think I can even begin to talk about it.


Cori

A friend and former boss. When Cori pulled a huge account that demanded all of her attention, she offered me a position in her PR company, taking over the bulk of all of her accounts. Her faith in my then untested abilities did a hell of a lot of things to help me believe in myself, and watching her work a room really gave me an understanding of how differently she operated from other women in the entertainment industry. I learned that it was possible to be a strong, confident and respected woman in music without being coy, cunning or underhanded.


Juliana Hatfield

I know, I know, musician! But seriously, her music inspired me to pick up a guitar. And travel about North America. And try things that were kind of scary. And to depend on myself, and the decisions that I made.


And that's all I can think of, really. Whoops?

Pumpkin Masala? Don't Mind if I Do.

Really. In fact, I'd be delighted!

Last night, a friend, her Melbourne-dwelling (Melbourne! I lived there! And last night, I became very nostolgic) houseguest and I went out for dinner.

The Location: The Bread Bar at Tabla. God, how I love it when high end restuarants open up less expensive children restuarants. Especially when they're located right inside the same space. Served tapas-style, the food was excellent. And more then reasonably priced. And, talking about the food...

The Eats: Green tomato pakoras; chickpea curry; cauliflower curry; rosemary naan; garlic naan; chutney sampler; white rice; and the dish that completely made the night for me: pumpkin masala.

Oh pumpkin masala. To you? To you, I pledge my love. Anyone have an excellent recipe for this dish? Because I feel like I need to be able to make it. And fill my ravenous stomach with it. For the rest of my days.

Hello New York. How YOU Dooooin'?

The things that you have brought to me today:

• Citizens of Humanity Ingrid low rise flair jeans in Pacific wash
• A wee Sephora haul of NARS duo eyeshadow in Caravaggio, Benefit Show Offs powdered eyeshadow in High Roller, a wee Philosophy 3-in-1 in Powdered Sugar Cookie and a Hard Candy Lollipop Lip Gloss in Raspberry Kiss
• A lovely meal at Pure Food and Wine

So, let's talk about Pure Food and Wine for a second. A wee bit back you might remember that I bought a few raw food cookbooks. One, Raw Food / Real World, is the cookbook that the owners of Pure Food and Wine unleashed on the world.

For the first course, I had the marinated shiitake, avocado and pickled ginger sushi rolls (with jicama instead of rice), and they ruled. To the extreme. 2001, even. For the second course, I ordered the zuchinni and golden tomato lasagna with basil-pistachio pesto, sundried tomato sauce and pignoli ricotta. Thing is? With every bite, the only thing I could think was that the raw lasagne that I cobbled together from Raw by Charlie Trotter and Raw Food / Real World was actually better then what was on my plate.

Take THAT happy couple on the Raw Food / Real World cookbook cover that had a horrible, messy and drama-filled (with chair throwing!) break-up!

North Country

Last night, while in search of the fun with an old, old friend, we wound up at the movies, sitting in a showing of North Country.

I wasn't expecting much. In fact, I was expecting to hate it. Hollywood real-life based dramas? Yeah, they usually stink up the joint. This one, not so much. In fact, this one was pretty damn good.

I do wish, however, that Charlize would start being tossed meaty roles that don't make her alter her appearance. 'Cause, really? That totally becomes the focus of all the reviews and media coverage instead of her stellar performance. The girl can act. Get over the stunning beauty, people.

PS: Francis McDormand's Fargo accent was used to a brilliant extent. And talking about brilliance, her performance, and that of Sean Bean...well, damn. Brilliant.

An Entertainment Haul, Oh My, Oh My!

I received an unexpected gift card today. So sweet, the givers! So lovely, the givers! So greedy, am I, because I used it all on myself.

What was my haul, you ask? Why, let me tell you!

Books

• Anansi Boys - Neil Gaiman: I've been a fan of Gaiman since I happened upon the book he wrote with Terry Prachet, Good Omens, way back in 1996. Anansi Boys is a sequel, of sorts, to the brilliant American Gods.
• Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way - Bruce Campbell: Oh, Bruce. One of my most enduring celebrity crushes. One day, remind me to tell you about the correspondence that we had when I was in my 3rd year of university. Such a hilarious, excellent man.
• Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto - Anneli Rufus: I am a loner. I need a manifesto. I am also lazy, and gleeful that someone else has already done the work for me.

Music

• Written In Rock: The Rick Springfield Anthology - Rick Springfield: Okay, when I talk about enduring crushes, this one is really the pinnacle of them all. My first rockshow? Rick Springfield. CNE. 1982. Yes, I was 8 years old. And I have never stopped loving him. And dude? He's returning to General Hospital on December 2nd!
• Live It Out - Metric: intelligent rock music that you can shake your ass to. Love, love, love. And also, love.

DVDs

• Dead Like Me - Season 2: Dead Like Me is one of my special favourite shows. Special favourite! So, of course, it was cancelled after its second season. That makes me sad. I now have to watch Mandy Patinkin on Criminal Minds and Callum Blue on Related. It's not the same. I may also be spying on Ellen Muth's EBay activity in hopes of scoring some of the stellar pieces of George's wardrobe for cheap that she sometimes, apparently, offers up for sale. Who knew?
• Arrested Development - Season 2: Arrested Development. Need I say more?

Confidential to Rose & Kate: Serenity is being released on DVD on December 20!

eBay, I Love You.

I really, really do. First, the BCBG skirt, and now you give to me a lovely and amazing sink & faucet.

Regard, if you will:











And both? For CRAZY CHEAP.

I can't wait for next year to come. I can't wait for my master bathroom remodeling project. And being an impatient fool, I shall be driven to distraction until the renovation begins.

It's going to be a long six or seven months. Yes, indeed, it is.

PS: another scent that I love has to be the puff of smoke that wafts up from a small fire just blown out.