Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Fist Shaking. It is, This Week, Aimed at my TV.

And, through my TV, to the networks. And their programming executives.

The holidays are not a time for reruns! But yet, there they are. Which, in turn, causes me to turn to Deal or No Deal. And Howie Mandel. Which, in turn, causes me to turn the TV off.

But what of all the movies I had vowed to watch? Yeah, that. Okay, so I watched a few of the gems that I had recorded, but also? Continuing on with my need to vegetate, borrowed a number of horrid Hollywood DVDs from my parents and have pretty much watched them instead.

Capsule reviews:

The Machinist - Excellent. And gross. I had to pause the movie in the middle so that I could run to my kitchen to get something to eat. Apparently, I believed that if I ate something, it would put some meat on Christian Bale's bones. And when I say bones, I mean it.

OT: Our Town - Nice effort, nice sentiment, nice sections, but all around a pretty boring documentary.

Alexander - Run away. Run far, far away. There's nothing that says Greek like a drunkard with a Scottish accent. What?

Boogeyman - Not scary. Sigh. Plus, stars the guy from Seventh Heaven. Which is both hilarious, and sad. And now I remember the last movie I saw him in, Teaching Ms Tingle, and then I think about his co-star in that film, Katie Holmes, and then I decide that Watson and Cruise would be a much better celebrity couple. So, in short, watching "Boogeyman" wasn't a complete loss.

Monster In-Law - Jennifer Lopez shows that she's been taking acting classes. Jane Fonda brings the funny. Michael Vartan brings the cute. And still? I wish this had been an episode of a sitcom canceled after it's first airing.

Hide and Seek - Deniro and Fanning. Fanning and Deniro. What? Exactly.

The Pacifier - I don't even know what I was thinking. Please don't ask.

Fever Pitch - I wanted to like this one SO MUCH. I love Nick Hornby's books. I think Drew Barrymore is adorable. I would like SNL-era Jimmy Fallon to be my boyfriend. But these two? Really, really wooden. I postulate that when a wooden actor plays opposite another wooden actor, the result is a grove of oak trees.

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